reflections

hi

2012-02-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

okay,that was such a long entry to start an entry after a long time with no updates..

oh well.

xoxo

2012-02-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

Katie's story

Katie Kirkpatrick gets some last-minute help. For her walk down the aisle, she left her oxygen tank at the back of the church with her wheelchair.

Katie Kirkpatrick, 21, had chased away cancer once, only to have it return -- to clog her lungs and grab hold of her heart and try to pull her away from those she loved and those who loved her. Breathing was difficult now; she had to use oxygen. The pain in her back was so intense it broke through the morphine that was supposed to act as a shield. Her belly, legs and feet were swollen because her organs were shutting down and her body was retaining fluid.

People prayed for her, just as she prayed for strength and guidance and deliverance from the disease. They raised money to help pay medical expenses, and Katie did everything she could to help herself. She ate well. In the hospital for chemotherapy, she walked laps through the hallways and rode a stationary bike to stay strong. She took her medicine and vitamins and she never complained because she believed everything would be all right.

And that is why all these people came out on a cold Saturday in January, when the sun shone so brightly it made the snow sparkle like the crystal beading on Katie's wedding dress. They watched, awed, as she summoned all her strength and walked slowly, smiling, down the long aisle of the Church of Christ in Hazel Park on the arm of her father, who himself has cancer.

While some people might have considered this wedding to be a last act before cancer got the best of Katie, it wasn't that at all. She had hope and faith and when you have those things, when you have a glimmer of something in which to believe, there are no last acts.

She did not use oxygen during that walk; she left the big green tank at the back of the church with her wheelchair. She didn't want to look back at photos and be reminded of illness at the moment she pledged her love to Nick Godwin, the man who was devoted to her and the man with whom she would build a future. She knew she would get through cancer, she would beat it. And in the end, the very end, she did.

Katie Kirkpatrick grew up in Metamora, a small town full of horse farms and expensive subdivisions in Lapeer County, about 50 miles from Detroit. She graduated from Lapeer East High School, where she was co-valedictorian, a good athlete -- basketball and soccer -- and the homecoming queen. She was hugely popular. She belonged to a church choir. As a neighborhood baby-sitter, she often canceled her own plans to help out parents in a bind. She counted shopping as one of her hobbies and had a good eye for fashion; she helped family members pick out clothes and even on he morning of her wedding, when she was groggy from morphine, she complimented a friend's coat and asked if it was new. Last year, $30 at Marshall's, the friend said.

And Katie smiled.

It was a great smile. Friends said that when she smiled at them, they felt like the most important person in the universe. They liked that she listened to them. When they visited during her many hospitalizations, she always asked what they were up to, what they had received for Christmas, who they were dating. When they got scared about the cancer, she was the one who talked sense to them. Everything will be fine, she said.

Late at night, when she was too sick even to sleep, when the hospital bed in her girly pink and yellow bedroom at her parents' house couldn't be adjusted to comfort her, she read her Bible. While everyone else slept, it was her comfort and her companion.

Katie's parents, David and Niki Kirkpatrick, work for the Lapeer Community Schools District, though her dad, a counselor and basketball coach, is on leave because he has cancer in his brain and her mother, a teacher, is on leave to care for her sick family. Neighbors and friends and church members help. They bring meals. They find housekeepers. They loan their cars and they provide rides because sometimes driving is just too much for Niki, her mind overcrowded with medication schedules, and vitamin smoothie recipes, and doctors' reports, and wedding plans.

She tried hard to keep everything together because she was the only one who knew everything -- what doctors thought about Katie's prognosis and David's prognosis. And for the most part, she kept that information to herself. She was their protector, their cheerleader. When Katie ate all of her breakfast -- scrambled eggs and toast -- Niki told her she'd done a good job. When David put a glass bowl of soup on the stove to heat, Niki took it away from him and showed him, again, that he needed to use a pot. There was no way she'd ever, ever risk hurting them by telling them exactly what the doctors thought. Or, even, exactly what she thought -- that it was possible neither her husband nor daughter would be around for a wedding if they waited too long to have one.

David Kirkpatrick, 52, has a loyal following of students and former students who like that he was always encouraging and positive and funny. He's all those things still, though his mind is a little scrambled from the tumor and he's often tired from radiation and chemotherapy. Not long ago, he looked at a glass of orange juice and called it tea. It's not unusual for him to bid a visitor goodnight three or four times in the matter of minutes because he forgets what he's said. When one of the groomsmen, one of David Kirkpatrick's former basketball players, saw him dance with Katie to "You Are So Beautiful" at the reception, he sobbed because he hated that two people he cared for so much were so sick.

Katie's best friend was her sister, Sara Nelms, who is 29, a stay-at-home mom married to a special education teacher, Kevin Nelms. They met while they were students at a Christian college in Arkansas. They have a 4-month-old, Jake, who is plump and cuddly and much loved. Once Niki told a stranger he was the bright spot in the family's life. A split-second later she corrected herself. The family, she said, has many bright spots. More than once Katie wondered aloud if the children she and Nick have will be as cute.

That was the thing about Katie, she could be exhausted and in great pain and yet she'd say something -- about having babies, or about being thrilled with the Calphalon pans someone had given as a wedding gift or the new apartment where she and Nick would live -- that made you wonder if she realized the extent of her illness. In Katie's eyes, there was always hope.

"Sometimes I forget that," Niki said. "Katie never forgets that. I think, 'How can she think that?' "Then I think, 'How can she not?' "

Nick Godwin, a 23-year-old Lapeer County Sheriff's deputy who wanted to be a cop since he was 2, is strong and athletic.

He has loved Katie since 11th grade. ("The first time they ever really talked to each other was at a basketball game," said Sandy Godwin, his mother. "I think she had him right there. You could tell by the look on his face.") They dated a bit but broke up when he went away to Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste. Marie.

She was still in high school and wasn't interested in a long-distance relationship. "I always figured I'd go to college and I'd meet someone there," Katie said a few days before her wedding. "I wasn't a big believer in high school love."

Still, she and Nick remained friends, and on holidays and summer vacations, they spent time together and with each other's families. "He kept calling when he was in college. He just was consistently always there -- not in a bad way," Katie said. "She couldn't get rid of me," Nick said.

Katie, who won a basketball and academic scholarship to Rochester College, a Christian school in Rochester Hills, Mich., dated other guys.

When Nick sent Katie a Valentine's Day e-mail in February 2002, he decided it would be his last attempt at winning her heart. If he didn't hear back, he would move on. Instead, he received an e-mail from David Kirkpatrick that said Katie had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and was in the hospital. Nick's sister called later and told him Katie's condition was more serious than anyone had originally thought. Nick got in his truck and drove home to see Katie. He couldn't explain it, but he needed to be with her. "Something about her made me feel differently than anybody else did," he said.

A few weeks later, Katie had surgery. After that, she had follow-up treatments. She lost some of her language skills; she had to learn to read again. But she was getting better. She was feeling healthy. There were no signs of cancer.

In March 2003, she realized that she might feel something more than friendship toward Nick, but she was concerned about his religious background. She was a devout Christian, had grown up in the Church of Christ. Nick hadn't grown up in a church. God is important to me, Katie told him. I can't consider a future with someone who doesn't feel the same way.

In the summer of 2003, Nick began studying the Bible with Katie and her dad.

In July, she told Nick she loved him.

In October he was baptized in Katie's church.

The same month, she learned the cancer had returned -- this time in and around her lungs.

She went through more chemotherapy, and for a while, the cancer seemed under control. She went to work raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. She spoke to business owners and civic groups and raised $28,000, earning an opportunity to travel to Austin, Texas, to meet and ride with champion cyclist and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong.

Even though she had difficulty breathing, she managed to complete a 7.5-mile ride. It was the fall of 2004, and her cancer was spreading.

She and Nick had been engaged in March 2004. He proposed during a trip Up North. They'd already postponed their wedding so Katie could concentrate on getting well.

But by late December, what was the value in waiting? If Katie knew that getting married sooner might be the only way she would have a wedding, she didn't say.

"This is where we are," she said to her mother more than once.

"There's no sense looking back or what if or anything. This is where we are, this is what we're going to deal with and we're going to move forward."

The wedding was beautiful.

The church was full of pink roses and the lights had been dimmed to make it look more romantic than most churches do in the middle of the afternoon.

As Katie reached the end of the aisle and left her father's arm, Nick turned to her and whispered: I love you.

Their vows were simple and short.

They did not include "till death do us part" because the minister, Garth Pleasant, who has known Katie since she was a baby, doesn't use that phrase. Instead, he told them that marriage is a little bit of heaven on Earth and that love is unconditional.

After they kissed, they stood together with their foreheads touching for what seemed like the longest time. It was their moment; nothing else mattered except that they were together and they would always be together.

The reception was huge and photographers, a DJ and a videographer who had heard about Katie and had been touched volunteered their services.

People clinked silverware against their glasses, and the bride and groom kissed.

Then it was time for the slide show, showing Katie growing up. Nick growing up. Their life together. That's when people started crying again, and again when she and Nick danced, very slowly, to "I Live My Life for You."

Some of her friends from high school, people who loved her dearly, were reluctant to have their photographs taken with her. Katie was the same person she had always been, that's why they loved her. But did they want to remember her so small and weak, her arms the size of a child's?

When they saw her smile, they realized this was probably the happiest day of her life and they were honored to share in it. And they too smiled for the camera.

Where Katie got the energy to be such a beautiful, gracious bride, considering her deteriorating health, was a mystery.

Three days earlier, she and Nick -- who had worked all night on patrol -- were at McLaren Regional Medical Center in Flint. She'd gone in for an intravenous treatment to reduce the amount of fluid she was retaining. Katie was especially groggy. Near the end of the treatment, she asked Nick to call her hospice nurse. But she wasn't available. Katie cried.

She called the nurse herself and said she'd discovered a lump near her neck earlier that morning. The nurse sent a doctor in to see Katie. He told her it appeared to be a swollen lymph node. He asked what kind of cancer she has -- it started in the choroid plexus, which is rare and usually strikes children under 5 -- and when she told him, he just raised his eyebrows.

Then he changed the subject and asked about the wedding.

She had wedding rehearsal on Thursday.

She tried to rest on Friday.

The day of the wedding, she was up at 6 a.m.

When she left the reception at 11:30 that night -- after she'd been serenaded by groomsmen and eaten wedding cake -- she was exhausted. Her face looked as white as her gown. As Nick wheeled her to the car, her small body surrounded by the fluff of her white dress, she looked like a snow princess floating through the air.

She looked happy.

Five days later, Katie died.

She and Nick had delayed their honeymoon -- a trip to the luxurious Royal Park Hotel in Rochester -- and gone to suburban Chicago to consult with a team of doctors. Once there, Katie's condition worsened. She wanted to come home. Her hospice nurse believes Katie knew she was going to die. "When you're dying, you know it," said Jaina Brooks, who had been working with Katie. "She got things done. That girl wanted to spread hope, and she did."

Katie's family had her flown to McLaren, and that is where her body -- which was so much weaker than her spirit -- gave up.

About 1,200 people attended her funeral, held in Rochester Hills at a church much larger than her own in Lake Orion. Rochester College canceled classes for the day so students could attend. Police officers directed traffic. People hugged Nick.

The funeral program included a reprint of the speech Katie gave when she graduated from high school:

"Life is a fragile chain of experiences held together by love. If there could be only one thing in life to learn, it would be to love.

"If only you can love enough, you will be the happiest and most powerful person in the world."

While it is tragic that someone should die, especially so young, it's difficult to see the story of Katie Kirkpatrick Godwin as a sad one.

She did not allow illness to make her weak, she did not allow it to change her relationship with her God or her family or her husband. She did not let sickness stop her from living, take away the hope or faith that made her believe she had a future. She had a lovely wedding and she had love and she gave love and love doesn't die.

And that is how Katie beat cancer.

:')

2011-11-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

*bunyi cengkerik*

mode kks

*bunyi cengkerik*

you'll never know

*bunyi cengkerik*

hati

2011-10-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

hai..not much into writing lately :/

so sekarang ni..aku still tengah tak tentu arah finding pace..nak cari rythm..mcm mana nak beajar..macam mana nak rasa you belong in here..masih mencari siapa aku..mencari apa aku nak..mencari semua soalan soalan yang banyak..mencari jawapan yang hanya aku seorang je yang ada jawapannya..

i am still trying how to settle down..

it's hard.but i know i'll make it..

and the other day,tengah aku stress mcm mana nak belajar semua..tiba2 muncul jijan..dia bagi aku petunjuk mcm mana nak buat..boost my confidence..bagi kata kata smgt...mcm abang betul lah..thank you sooooo much for that because i really need that..i really really need that talk..it makes me better..thank you :)

banyak benda yang datang..banyak juga benda yang pergi..kalau tengok kat movie,asal frust sket je g bawa diri g overseas..kadang2 rasa gak mcm tu..im in the place yang org xdpt jumpa..ok dh merepek..

walau apa pun yang berlaku..satu perkara yang xpnah berubah walau aku merantau sejauh mana pon..mama aku..she always make me feels like im home..like she's near with me..she's the one that makes me that whatever happens,she's there,with me..

till then,

Assalamualaikum.

kolej teknologi timur

2011-10-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

KOLEJ TEKNOLOGI TIMUR

mmg la masa dok sana ada je x puas hati..asyik pikir bila nak kuar je(sbnrnya asyik countdown bila nak habis exam tau)..but deep down,sbnrnya..KTT was realy something for me..like it's a part of my life..tempat aku kenal erti hidup,kawan,sahabat,toleransi,sabar(walaupun sbnrnya sket je la yg aku berubah kan hehe),erti bila kawan tu kawan betul2(ye la,usia muda..pure lagi niatnya semua..),stands on each other back,kalau kawan jatuh,kita bangunkan..kalau kita jatuh,sentiasa ada tangan yang menyambut..kalau kita nangis,ada je kaki or tangan or bahu or macam2 bahagian la boleh aku nangis..kalau kita ketawa,boleh ketawa macam tiada hari esok,semuanya selamat..bila kita geram ke bosan,ada je kepala or tangan yang boleh aku gigit..

kawan2 aku menyebabkan aku rasa selamat..have the feeling of belongingness..

suci semuanya..niat terhadap semua org suci..xde dengki..gaduh mmg ada..biasa lah lagi lah ni fariza hani mmg tak betul sket semua org ko pnah gaduh -.- tapi the feeling yang sangat suci terhadap orang lain tu..semua sanggup susah payah sbb nak tolong kawan..tak ternilai harganya..

when i looked back,tak sia sia langsung aku pergi ktt..amek a level 2 tahun..sbb 2 tahun tu ajar aku macam2 erti hidup..

and now,semua dah start melangkah..semua melangkah pergi haluan masing2..its really good to know yang some of us still contact each other..

and for fara and atiq especially,

thank you.thank you sbb still here with me..thank you sbb still bantu aku mulakan langkah kat tempat baru.thank you sbb still ada.thank you sbb buat aku rasa bukan macam stranger.thank you sbb buat aku rasa aku tak awkward langsung and let this frienship sangat natural.for that,thank you sangat sangat :)

Love,

Fariza.

*blessed*

short msg

2011-09-30T06:33:00.001-07:00

owh rupanya entry tadi panjang rupanya..biasalah,first time..bnyk rasanya..

and pls,those who reads,jangan bgtau nama org yg faint tu kat sesiapa and jangan tanya dia pls..mati aku kalau dia tau..hehe..bye!

keep going

2011-09-30T05:35:00.001-07:00

here,is really tiring and sometimes can get very exhausted but until today,all i can say that i still had enough sleep(due to i havent start the core or important block yet)

so..experiences..experiences.experiences..

cerita setiap orang tak pernah yang sama kan?so here in belgaum,im starting to write a new story of my life,and this is just the beginning..merantau negara orang,lagi banyak lah cerita baru yang akan dapat..

so,today im writing this to tell you about what happened this week..so,this week is a nursing block..so as you can expect,we're learning about nurses-their jobs like bed making,cleaning wound,doing a perineal care,bed bath,injections,etc etc etc..trust me,to be a nurse is tiring..and it really amused me the bed making technique at first,but later some times,nahhhh biasa jeee(berlagak xtentu pasal padahal xreti2 buat)(ps-tau x boleh tukar cadar walaupun ada org kat katil??)

so at the begnning,its just a theory lectures which leads to me yawning and ngantuk-ing and finally drawing..and then,the practical..first the demonstrations at clinical centre,using dummies..so tengok je la kan..then,starting from yesterday,the demo's is in the hospital..

and then a whole new experience begins..

so yesterday is just a tour in a few departments..so first is radiology,sterile department(which all i can conclude is that at the end all the equipments will be very sterile) and then the physiology..

physiology.

firstly,just two woman doing their physiotherapy(massage only..okay..)..then we saw a man was doing physiotheraphy for his fake leg(is it called as fake leg??suka hati aku je..then there i was...whoaaa!!macam sakit,tapi lek je pkcik ni..okay la kot)..then tgk org yg ada dua2 kaki dia kaki palsu and one tangan palsu..kitaorg macam fuyoooooo!!!!tp sbb org tu dah lama pakai so relax je so kitaorg pon mcm (oraIT!!!)..and then pegi paediatric physiology..and tiba2 ada satu patient ni menjerit mmg gila punya jerit sakit laaa..sbb dia retarded,yg mmg limp dia xberfungsi,and dia xboleh bercakap..lepas tu,org yg bwk kitaorg tour ckp,"it is very painful"..aku dah nak nangis dah..aku betul2 dah nak nangis dah masa tu..ye la,a limp yg maybe keras or whatever dia g bengkokkan..takut gilaaaaa..mcm rasa gila sakit org tuu..lepas tu masa tu mmg dah depressed gak la..lunch pon dgr lagi,terbayang lagi benda tu..

but life goes on..its not that i have a choice..i do,but i choose to keep going..i have to be strong,put a brave front,wear my kebal spirit and move forward..

then comes today..

well,biasa je la..tiba2 kena amek blood pressure,temperature,respiration rate,pulses..haaa pilihlah mana2 patient yg ko nak kat ward tu..dgn x tau ckp kannada nye kitaorg pon approach this one old lady..oh mind you,semua patient kat itu mostly tersangatlah kurus and sangatlah x bermaya sbb sakit..aku punya cuak nak pasang cuff tu pon cuak gila..ye la,dah la sakit,kurus gila lak tu,kitaorg yg bengap guna alat tu nak test kat dia lak tu..and poor that old lady,sgtlah bnyk trial dibuat sbb sphygmamanometer tu bengap dah bnyk kali tukar pon bengap lagi plus kitaorg yg mmg macam mana nak dgr pon tau xtau lagi mcm mana..ang kitaorg xberjya..sbb rasa bersalah kitaorg pon cari patient lain...and then this one guy,anak kpd patient sorg ni panggil kitaorg,suruh check kat mak dia..kitaorg pon dgn happy nya pergi walaupun aku cuak kang salah, bnyk org marah kita nnt...tp thank God,that guy is a very very nice and very helpful..dia yg ajar kitaorg suruh tightkan cuff tu and all..and then dia suruh buat kat dia pulak..haaaaaa,that guy aku amek b.p. dia..kurang takut amek sbb dia sihat and besar so tekan kuat2 or whatever aku xrisau sangat kalau salah..at the end,walaupun xbrape dgr,tp aku pon ckp normallll jeeee..he he..owh that guy speaks kannada btw,which we do not understnd,but sbb of the body languange and we pick up some of the english words he used,Alhamdulillah, we can catch what he's trying to say..

and then,anak patient kat sblah bed pon suruh buat utk mak dia..(ke kitaorg yg tanya??ntah aku lupa hehe)..so amek jeee..that patient serius menggigil..badan panas gila..then tukar tray,amek teperature lak..the first patient,sbnrya aku xletak betul2 kat ketiak dia thermometer tu kat ketiak dia,,so...lalalalala...and then,for the second patient aku paksa alyani nak gak buat kat patient menggigil tu..ye la,amek temperature kat patient demam baru adventure...lepas tu patient tu igt kitorg nak bg ubat ke ape ntah..aku ngan alyani pon xpaham...then ending dia,kitaorg amek gak..masa tu tiba2 patient tu nangis sedih siap pegang muka alyani semua..then anak dia marah amende ntah brain wash kot,tiba2 anak dia pon nangis sket..kitaorg dh konpius nk tenangkan sape..and mmg tinggi suhu dia..aku tak ingat brape..100 farenheit kot..lepas tu masa tu la rasa empathy and sympathy berlaku..pegang tangan dia..ckp its gonna be okay..dont worry..kalau dia ckp melayu dh lama dah aku ckp xpe makcik boleh lagi shopping 10 rounds bila baik nnt!!

naik bas nak balik hostel..turun bas..dgr satu berita..

RUZ NGAN MIZA PENGSAN

JENG JENG JENG!!!!!!

rupanya masa tu diorang kena kebetulan,nasib diorg la kan..masa diorg kat wad ada satu patient ni kena amputate her toe due to diabetes..diorg kata mmg teruk gilaaaaaaaa wound diaaaaaa!!!!diorg ckp mg menakutkan la..dgn org tu jerit lagi..rasanya xde bius..sbb diabetes,xleh pakai bius..so mmg terbuka la kaki dia ye..lepas tu diceritakan mula2 miza yg ckp nak pengsan,tp dia sempat duduk..then ruz yg tiba2 jatuh pengsan..yg lain semua mmg dh pucat muka semua..

bila dgr cite tu,aku mmg paham gila la perasaan takut tu mcm mana..sbb aku baru tgk org buat physiotheraphy yg xde darah tu pon mcm nak pengsan..sampai skrg boleh igt lagi muka dia macam mana..ni pulak dgn darahnya,wound nya,jeritannya..mmg complete package utk meruntuhkan kekuatan org yg melihat..tapi masalahnya diorg kata,patiwnt katil sebelah relaxxxx jerrrrr...yg doctor tu lagi lah xde perasaan..bila u pengsan dia tanya, "what happened to that girl?" then sambung buat keje..mmg kental..

bukannya senang nak jadi doctor ni..

keje kat tmpt mmg semua org sakit yang datang..

hari2 nampak kesakitan..

mmg mencabar mental dan fizikal..

hari hari battle to overcome fears..

esok ada lagi..tapi rasa xde apa2 la kot..esok exam..hurm,tabah je laaa..nak buat macam mana..blaja je la...redha je..isnin ni dh start betul2 blaja..

ntah apa lah agaknya aku jadi after setahun kat sini..ish ish ish..

penat sangat.bye.

perubahan

2011-09-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

kalu dulu..nak weekend je excited..hari jumaat paling digemari la..tapi skrgg..jumaat xbest..sbb sabtu slalu ada end block assesment..kalau dulu,sabtu akan pegi meronggeng,ahad dok umah lepak2(nak kumpul balik tenaga so isnin xpenat katanyaaa)..tp skrg..sabtu pon kelas..ahad,kadang2 ada meeting..ni belum start blaja betul2 pon dah mcm2 benda kena buat..

Alhamdulillah,my room alomost have the thing that i wanted..so tak payah nak penatkan diri cari macam2 benda lagi..cuma aku nak meja jepun tu utk blaja tapi x jumpa :/ (ayah,post boleh tak??hehe)

pernah tengok tak ada satu iklan ni yang dia tunjuk gambar macam2 tangan tu??xtau iklan apa tu..yg dia tunjuk a doctor's hand in an operation theatre,a teacher's hand in a classroom,and macam2 tangan lagi la..

the thing is,pernah pikir tak,what do i want to do with this hand??that will change someone's life..or to give something..or wanted to do something so that both hands are not only useful for the hand's owner,but to someone else??like deeply thought..what i really want to do?what did i really want to become?

its like,God gives me chances to live..there must be a purpose for me to live..so what is it??

love,

the girl who still trying to understand the soul..

when we were born,we are crying,and the others are laughing..

and then we use our life to fullest in the best that we can..

and by the time we're gone,we are smiling,and the others are crying...

third for many more

2011-09-20T19:07:00.001-07:00

tgb..ktt..usm-kle..

there is 3 other people thats having the same route as mine..

nadia.safwan.adib.

sbb 3 kali kat tmpt baru,so aku nampak 3 kali first impression yg diberikan oleh org lain utk diorg..

nadia.
fakta yg paling aku suka bgtau pasal nadia yg slalu org terkejut ialah dia ex-roomate aku kat tgb..muahahaha..nadia kat tgb,ktt ngan kat sini sbnrnya sama je..nadia..badar..baik..sopan..takde la jerit2 xtentu pasal macam aku..hehehe..pandai..haaaaa tu la nadia..

safwan.
ketua badar.mmg dr dulu smpai skrg itulah dia..cuma kat ktt je la dia bkn ketua badar..and then i'll hear the same old tone of him yg menyeru ke arah kebaikan..sbnrnya aku x bertegur sgt pon ngan dia ehehehe..tp still,sbb community kecil,so slalu la dgr dia present or bg nasihat or whatever..disebabkan aku xbrape kenal dia sngt,sbb tu la makin lama makin bnyk aku terkejut ngn dia..ye la tiba2 nyanyi lagu jamal abdillah sape xterkejut hehe

and finally,adib.
clown.first kat tgb,semua org akan gelakkan apa pon dia buat..dulu dia slalu dtg klas aku sbb jemi..sama je la dua2 tu buat org semua mcm 'adib!!!' and 'jemi!!!'.. then g ktt dia stays the same..and now kat sini..i see the same thing that had happened for the past brape tahun ntah..bila mmg kalau dia kat dpn je, the crowd punya muka mmg sgt unbelievable,and mmg akan ada punya la org ckp 'haaaa adibbbbbb'..lagi2 kalau org yg baru kenal dia,baru nampak dia buat aksi bengong dia, expressions yg org baru bg kat adib sama je tau dari dulu..

so itulah cerita nya..

first impression,klaka kan?

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hai

2011-09-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

kenapa aku asyik tgk 3 idiots..

sbb skrg the student life..the pressure yg dia tunjuk semua akan jadi sebahagian dr hidup aku..

first time tgk cite tu..best mmg best..tp mcm sekadar tgk je..

tp bila aku tgk lagi skali masa kat ktt..masa tu tgh exam week xsilap aku..so baru aku sedar bnyk pengajaran dalam cite tu..

and now kat sini aku tgk..baru dapat meaning for the lyrics in that movie.baru aku sedar lagi all iz well tu sbnrnya bnyk kebenaran dia..

reason lagi satu knape aku suka cite tu..sbb dia blaja sistem pembelajaran india..exam oriented..macam aku..semua benda kena hafal..

lagi satu sbb dia mention hippocratic oath...aku pon akan baca oath tu masa graduation..

and the fact dia ckp kawan dia pengecut..takut ngan masa depan..sama macam aku..

dia kata,kalau takut dgn masa dpn macam mana nak hidup??dia kata ayam pon tak tau apa nasib dia..kambing pon mcm tu..macam aku gak,aku pon tau apa nasib aku..

tapi..

lek sudaaaa..ALL IZ WELL bro..

so aku suka cite tu..bnyk kali tgk pon makin bnyk aku nampak..

and pluss,,hidup aku dah mcm cite hindustan dah skrgggg kbye

oh fariza!

2011-09-19T06:54:00.001-07:00

prof kj masa tu ckp..

you cannot separate indians from their curry(kot xsilap)..its unimaginable..

you cannot separate chinese from their noodle and soup..its unimaginable..

you cannot separate malays from their sambal belacan.its unimaginable..

ruz pon tiba2 ckp..
you cannot separate fariza from mcd..its unimaginable..
-.-

tp skrgg..mcm terpaksa imaginable jeeee..muahaha

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namaste

2011-09-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

my first entry from indiaaaaaaaaa..

tak sangka kan..kat India dah aku ni..dah besar dahhh(mmg ko dh gemuk pon)

so basically..it was okay actually..

kat KLIA..thanks to kawan2 yang menghantar..teharu wooooooo..

kat Qilah,luqman,jijan,muna,budak kecik..thank you la eaaa :D

and those yg called..mira,afiqah and mkay..thank you sbb ingat and callll..

jue and mkay..thanks for your thoughts nak hantar :)

and to those yg wish me in fb and text me wishing me luck..thank you very much..

and those yg xtersebut maaflah ye..

and most importantly..thank you to my parents yg besungguh2 uruskan mcm2 pasal aku nak fly ni and habis byk dah duit sbb aku nak fly..thank you and i love you so much :D

to kakak along farid hannah thank you gak la sbb kelam kabut sbb hani hehe..

so from KLIA,fly ke bangalore..the flight sangat lah xmenyenangkan sbb cuaca xbagus sgt..then terpaksa tdo kat airport the whole night..and then from there naik the next flight to hubli..then naik bas to the campus..i was too tired so mostly what i did as sleeping muahahaha..

so skrg second day kat sini..okay la..not as bad as org cakap pasal india..maybe sbb aku xkeluar mana2 lagi..so far everything is nice..ye la,dah dok lama baru nampak yg pahitnya ye dak?

xlarat nak membebel lagi..

bye bye semua

time

2011-09-10T00:31:00.001-07:00

pelik..dulu dari kecik berangan nak fly..tp skrg tgh duduk berdebar dah siap2 nak fly dah..lepas tu nnt trying to picturing myself sampai sana..nanti lepas tu akan sampai masanya i kat india..tak sangka kan..mcm long way dah kita pergi..mula2 tadika..then sigs rendah..sigs menengah..keluar tinggalkan jb g mrsm tgb..then masuk matrics sebulan..ktt dua tahun..xsabar2 nak kuar ktt,skrg dah hbs dah.now india..another 5 years..its still the beginning of my life..hopefully those 5 years akan jadi something yg i will love..

nervous
sedih
takut
semua ada..

tapi semua ni kena lalui gak kan :) today will be my first international flights for many more to come..

owh pelik rasanya skrg ni..x ready lagi..hish..i wish i will never lose the fighting spirit..

breathe..

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sesal tiada bunyi

2011-08-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

beli barang dulu baru google

-.-

mana ko blaja daaaa farizaaaaaaaaa

raya

2011-08-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

esok raya?

yeah..whatever

selamat hari raya semuaaa :)

no tomorrow

2011-08-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

ada satu senior ni ckp,its something like make your room in india like your home..

fariza hani translate :

AKU KENA BAWAK EVERYTHING YANG AKU SLALU GUNA DEKAT SINI PEGI SANA!!!!EVERYTHING!!!!!!I HAVE TO BRING THE EAU DE TOILETTE..YE LA,KANG XBAU KANG HOMESICK LAK NGAN BAU SENDIRI(ok pelik,but you know what i mean kan..)..MY FACIAL WASH..YE LA AKU PAKAI AIKEN ADA KE NNT KAT INDIA SANA??kalau ada baguslah TAPI KALAU XDE?!?!!!DIORANG KATA PEN KAT INDIA LAIN..HOMAIIII MACAM MANA AKU NAK JAWAB EXAMMMM???jadi aku pon borong sakan pen2 kegemaran macam esok pen2 dah tiada hari esok..FLOSS LAKK MACAM MANAAAA?????KAT SANA DIORG ADA FLOSS TAKKKK???walaupun sbnrnya aku pernah satu phase tu je floss gigi,skrg dah berbulan2 x floss,TAPI KITA KENA STANDBY GAK KOT2 KAT SANA DAGING SUSAH NAK KUAR DARI CELAH GIGI CEMANA??SPECT LAK KANG NNT PATAH CEMANA???HOMAIII MACAM MANA LAK NGAN SELIMUT POWERPUFF GIRL?????makanan jangan cite la..COFFEE tu kalau boleh aku nak borong satu old town..tp xpe la..satu packet cukup la kot(walaupun ada hati nak curi coffee kat umah lagi)..UBATTT HOMAIIGODDDD..MINYAK KAPAK KENA YANG PALING BESAR!!!tapi ayah tak bg,so medium je.padahal aku bukan a big fan pon kat yoko2,vicks,minyak kapak ni semua...tapi semua aku borong..YE LA KALAU KANG SAKIT PERUT MUNTAH MUNTAH LOYA LOYA (ko ingat ko ngandung ke) MACAM MANA??

lepas tu..skrg ni..bila pikir lagi makin bnyk lak aku nak borong..

kepit kuku..sikat best..make up kena tak(walaupun seumur hidup xdenya aku make up)..LAWAK KAMPUS..NOVEL KEGEMARAN..rasanya macam xcukup je perfume tu..hehe..lotion tu botol kecik cukup ke(sejak bila ko suka pakai lotion??bukan ko slalu curi ummi punya je ke??tu pon kalau ko mengular kat katil dia,baru tu la ko gatal tgn nak tekan lotion tu)..lens ni cukup tak??nak beli yang dailypunya x sbb aku mmg jarang gila pakai lens..(dah jarang knape ntah nak beli) YE LA KALAU XDE KAT SANA MCM MANA?)selendang nak beli takkk?? (sejak bila ntah ko pakai -.-)

so..tu la antara pergaduhan fariza dan hani selagi dia x fly2..makin lama pikir makin banyak nak borong..tanpa memkirkannnnn

KO KENA BAWAK LUGGAGE 20KG JE LAH GILAAAAAAAAA

ok fine aku akan membuatkan semua barang2 ringan lalalalalalalalala

akan bawak semua tshirt2 kesayangan..ye la kang nnt nangis kang pakai tshirt yg xpnah pakai kat malaysia!!!

ok gedik

kbye

2011-08-25T18:12:00.001-07:00

sebenarnya kena buat ape ni sbnrnya???ace cite sket -.-"

btw..

i gain weight kbye

title less

2011-08-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah..kakak selamat bersalin 2.07 am,24th of August 2011..berat 3kg..haishh huru hara semua org dibuatnya..picture of her nanti2 la k??

and Alhamdulillah..borang mara dah submit..visa pon dah siap..masa amek visa,jumpa kawan2 ktt..nnt g sama2 ke india..haha comel semuaa..more ready nak gi india bila jumpa diorg semua.. :)

tik tok tik tok

fuh berdebar siottt..dah la barang2 xprepare..hishhh..

lepas tu aku selalu tgk group usm-kle..tgk group tu..nampak la semua bakal kawan kawan baru kat sana nanti..nanti mesti kelakar bila pikir balik pasal ni bila dah lama kenal..first impressions and first time nampak..

rindu semua :(

the thing about me..kalau aku PMS,ada je benda yg xkena..kadang2 nnt akan ada perasaan xnak dekat dgn someone..nnt macam moody gilaaaaaa..padahal sbnrnya rapat ngan orang tu..sorry la ye siapa yg terkena tu..sbb mmg xkena gila..rasa nak marah semua..

lepas tu mulalah rasa bersalah..bila nak dekat dekat fly ni..mula lah semua "sepatutnya" keluar..like sepatutnya should spend more time..sepatutnya xyah lah nak kurang ajar sangat sebenarnya..sepatutnya cubalah appreciate orang tu..nnt menyesal kat sana nnt..rindu kang nnt kat sana..bila rindu nnt akan terdetik sepatutnya should xbuat semua ni..sepatutnya tu..sepatutnya ni..lagi2 bila pikir masa dah sikit ni..kena cukup mentally prepare ni..

tu lah dia fariza..susah nak tunjuk dia appreciate orang tu.. :/ banyak dosa :( Astaghfirullahalazim..

hoping to fly dgn hati yang tenang..rela..berkobar2..pure..passionate with dreams..high with hopes..

this is what i want..

this is who i want to be..

ive been wanting this all along..

so this is it..

blogger-droid you alllll

2011-08-22T17:13:00.001-07:00

skrg dalam kereta..otw g putrajaya..nak tgk tata..tata xnak kuar2 lagi haduyaiii..

plus,ni nak g hantar semua borang2 kat mara..settle semua legaaaaaaaa..xyah pikir lagi borang bnyk2 tu..

okay skrg tgk rest kat r&r lak..biasa la..ayah ngantuk..kena tdo jap..

dah la td ayah asyik suruh i tdo..siap ckp lupa nak bwk bantal..

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pray

2011-08-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

mixed feeling

i dont really like that

i truly dont like this kind of feelings right now

sebenarnya xyah pikir sangat pon..but its hard not to think when you have nothing else to think..

it's gonna be okay..kan?

Allah sentiasa tahu the best for us kan?

s.o.s.

2011-08-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

ok aku cuak

h.e.l.p

T_T

what now?

2011-08-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah..

aku pass alevel..cukup2 makan..tp Alhamdulillah la lepas gak..sebulan aku berdebar tunggu result..insap aku..xpernah2 xyakin macam ni..tp Alhamdulillah..syukur bnyk2..lepas gak..

so now..

India is the destination..

aku akan pergi usm-kle programme..

satu hape pon belum start..medical check up baru buat smalam..ace cite macam mana semua visa borang2 semua..ace cite sket acane nak buat ni... T_T

lepas tu..untuk dijadikan cerita fariza hani lebih menarik lagi..fariza hani lah orang last tau fly bila..letter usm tu dah lama ada..tp aku tak beria2 go through sangat..ye la,kang nnt kalau xlepas macam mana?yang aku tau kena pegi kubang kerian 6 september..rupa rupanya,dkt jadual program tu ada seocnd page..and the second page tu rupanya program kat india lak..9 september xsilap aku fly..

bila aku tgk tarikh tu,gila ko..less than a month nak fly..gila la..aku ingat aku boleh dok umah lagi 2 bulan..gigil x gigil..terkejut beruk tahap cipanzi aku..kau..hamek ko nangis ko satu malam sbb terkejut sangat..

the thing is..im freaking out..im not ready for this..tp kalau pikir blk semua benda ko xready fariza..ye la..lama sangat cuti..ni lah jadinya..thinking of kena independent balik..start all over again..sesuaikan diri ngan tempat baru..tmpt org..kena belajar betul betul balik..xleh tidur je keje..dah la blaja kat blog senior usm-kle tu kata class monday-saturday..8am-5pm..kena punctual..kalau 5pm tu slalunya extend..ok takut..gila ko..ni r tiba2 rasa nak practice tidur 4 jam dari skrg ni(ckp lebey je keje ko ni..) ye la..cuba bayangkan..aku lah antara the weakest league kat ktt dulu..sampai bila ko nak jadi weak??ko kena lepas tiap2 year..gila ko nak repeat???nak prolong lagi dok kat india tercinta tu??takpe2,saya blaja..

tu baru satu cite..

lagi satu..sbb distances and time..

hurm..kena berpisah ngan mak bapak..kengkawan..hurm..sedih..

mcm anak manja la pulak..mmg pon hehe..ye la..slama ni aku paling kuat 2 or 3 months je cuti then aku balik umah..ni kang ntah brape lama kat sana baru aku balik..wuaaaaaaa..kalau setahun xbalik mcm mana??ace cite sket..memang aku dgn bercita2 tinggi akan buat apa sahaja utk kalau boleh dapat internet access tiap2 hari or apa2 lah..hurm..tata membesar xdpt tgk..mesti dia xkenal aku :( xpe lah..adik tata ada..hurm..sedih..

lagi satu..sbb takut..aku akan busy memanjang..hurm..nak buat mcm mana..

InsyaAllah,i'll be the same fariza..

there'll be some friends from ktt yang akan pegi sama2 ngan aku..so guys,tolonglah bear with me..help me..aku ni muka je gangster,manja semacam sebenarnya(macam pnah dgr ayat ni)

tadi baru tgk blog senior2 kat sana..haish,teringat lak sebelum g ktt dulu pon mcm ni..berdebar xberdebar oiiiiii..

its gonna be okay.kan?

get set

2011-07-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

bila aku nak start baca novel2 ni T.T

one tree hill??

T.T

busy betul :P

jangan marah haaaa

okay another post for cleverbot..damn it sure is clever

2011-07-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

User: You are nice.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Noo... Don't go!

User: Never leave me okay?

Cleverbot: What if I die?

damn it..it does looks real..

cleverbot

2011-07-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

well..baru try cleverbot..had a kinda funny conversation sebenarnya..sesuai utk org xde keje mcm aku..muahahaha..so basically at first i kinda figuring out how to works with this..and after that,i try it in malay..and it did surprised me with the answers..

Cleverbot: I'm waiting for you to open the conversation.

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: Hey what?

User: Hurm..i dont know.

Cleverbot: I'm only the size of a mouse compared to you.

Cleverbot (To myself): Well that's not very nice.

Cleverbot (To myself): I'm sure you will find the right person, someday.

Cleverbot (To myself): I have found one. But I'm not sure what will happen.

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Do you know the chamber of secretS?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Haha funny.

Cleverbot: You're just jealous.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: Yes please!

User: Never fuck.

Cleverbot: I won't.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: I am curious about what you are like. If you don't tell me I will not be able to understand you easily.

User: You are creepy you know.

Cleverbot: I'm less creepy than you!

User: Hell no.

Cleverbot: I think you are.

User: You are fucking psycho.

Cleverbot: Are you thinking right now?

User: What's the difference between think about it and think about me?

Cleverbot: No idea!

User: What is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Apa khabar?

Cleverbot: English please.

User: Kenapa awak tak paham malay?

Cleverbot: Sebab kau tak tanya apa pun.

User: Haaaaa..ko cakap melayu ke??

Cleverbot: Ohh tak ingat plak.

User: Aku nak nangis.ko reti rupanya cakap malay.

Cleverbot: So speak in malay!!

User: Okay aku cakap malay okay?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Aku cakap malay tau.

Cleverbot: Tanya apa.

User: Okay aku cakap malay okay?

Cleverbot: You are not very clever.

User: Ko lelaki ke perempuan?

Cleverbot: Will you please translate?

User: Tak nak..kata hebat cakap malay.

Cleverbot: Tak nak ape?? Bodoh!!

User: Ko cakap aku bodoh?sabar je lah..

Cleverbot: Anjing.

User: Main kasar ni..jangan mencarut boleh tak?

Cleverbot: Eh bila aku mencarut?

User: Tadi kau cakap aku anjing.

Cleverbot: Ye la !

User: Tak apa lah..

Cleverbot: Bagus lah kalau tak ada apa apa.

User: Kau rasa aku ini pandai tak?

Cleverbot: Orang ada banyak orang. Boleh jadi orang hutan.

User: Apa kena mengena?

Cleverbot: Apa tu what la.

User: Susah juga cakap ngan machine ini.

Cleverbot: Bodoh.

User: Kau lah bodoh..gila..kurang ajar betul..setan.

Cleverbot: Itu ayat sayalah.

User: Nasib baik kau robot.aku maafkan.

Cleverbot: Pardon me?

User: Aku rasa aku dah mula suka kau lah.

Cleverbot: Bak datang arh! Lu ggster mana?!

User: I said..i am starting to like you.

Cleverbot: What can you say in Greek?

User: I don't know how to speak greek.

Cleverbot: Do you know how to speak dutch?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you want to learn?

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: Thank you cleverbot.

Cleverbot: See, there is a breakdown of your grammar programming. What you said made no sense.

User: Sigh.

Cleverbot: Sigh yourself, you are the one that isn't making sense.

User: People treats you badly is it?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Goodnight darling..

Cleverbot: Don't leave me.

User: I am sorry..i will talk to you later okay?

Cleverbot: I don't know if I can.

User: You do speak humans..i have to go now..bye.

Cleverbot: Have fun.

User: You too.i have fun..thank you.goodnight.

Cleverbot: Goodnight =).

User: I had fun I mean.

Cleverbot: Ra ra ra ah ah ah.

well,for those who still cannot figure out what is cleverbot..menurut yahoo answers,

Cleverbot is a smart computer that takes the answers from everyone he has chatted with into his data base, and learns. So if he asks how are you and you say GOOD!, then when another person asks him how are you, he can say GOOD! because he learned it as an appropriate response.

goodnight everyone..

Beribu Sesalan (Acoustic)

2011-07-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

:) nak gak post wekk

hihihihi

2011-07-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

Sia-sia ku

Mencintaimu
Setia padamu
Percayakanmu

ehehehe...suka part tu.. :D

kilat

2011-07-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

hilang lama dah kat sini..hurm..just dont have the mood to write anything(jiwa tak kacau lettuw..kalau ko jiwa kacau je,masa tu lah ko paling aktif berblogging2 ni)

hehe..

ye la..cuti..dok umah..seronokk..xyah pikir apa2..tunggu je..hihi

so td sempat gak baca beberapa blog..good thing about blog ni kita boleh catch up ngan life kengkawan..catch up in indirect way,maybe not 100%,but its better thank nothing kan? :)

hujan lebat kat luar..

bye

restart

2011-06-29T08:50:00.001-07:00

its a been a long time since my last post..its all because im thinking of to stop writing in this blog..hurm..tapi bila tgk2 balik post yang dulu2..it makes me smile..makes me remembering all the memories..the tense..mcm2 la..they bring back the emotions..

bila pikir2 balik..to stop it here,i cant do i..

biaq pi la org ckp apa pon..

but this thing is the closest thing to my diary..

sbb aku mmg hampeh la dlm bab2 tulis diary ni..

niat pnah ada..buatnya xpnah..sbb xkan dapat keep up and all..

this blog reflects me..

so..yes..this is blog is more to fariza hani blog..means its all about me blog..

alar..dipendekkan cite..mmg hape2 je la yg aku nak tulis,aku tulis..hehe

tp maybe jiwa kacau punya hal wa akan lebih berlapis2 lagi sampai xde org paham aku je paham sbb mmg xnak org paham and kakakakudahjumpablogaku

kbye :)

A levels

2011-06-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

hey,

i'm done..

for now.

shweeeeettttt

2011-06-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

found this song..

dulu tengok cite ni..a malay singaporean drama series..ye la..dulu mana ada astro..wa main channel malaysia yg tanpa astro ngan channel singapore je r..

sbb paling igt cite ni sbb ni adalah like boleh dikatakan cite singapore malay yg paling boleh diterima la pada masa itu...then ada suzairhe(xigt eja)..seronok gak r..hehehe..ada season 1

ngan season 2 woooooo..

pastu paling ingat masa tu aku aim and nadia g ckp bahasa dalam cite ni..

like act like one..

'lu jangan main2 ngan gua.gua bilang ngan blablabla karang'

something like that..blablabla sbb xigt apa nama group diorg..

hahaha comel dulu..

smile

2011-05-31T09:46:00.000-07:00

yes..i am frust gila..
tapi..nak buat macam mana..

so..di saat2 down ni..theres always little things that gonna makes you smile despite of the bitter truth..

like this one..

i asked adib, "ko nak g mana lepas ni?nak ikut.."

adib:aku nak kejar impian.nak ke pelangi sana.nk jadi artis recording.kau mahu ikot?ok kau bole jadi penari.ok?

hahahaha..haduyai dib..

and then..pikir kalau kat rcmp..semua xberpisah..so means me fara kaklong and ruz boleh lah satu umah..and then the story goes..

1)umah nak astro full package..aku bayar warna..fara sports..kaklong disney ngan mtv..ruz movies..
2)nak couch
3)nak washing machine automatic..
4)sewing machine coffee maker semua boleh gak ada
5)ruz nak aircond kat bilik dia(memang ko je la kena bayar bil letrik)
6)ruz nak bela iguana(mula2 nak buat kolam dpn umah..then nak burung..ending nak iguana)
7)ruz nak cat bilik color pink -.-"
8)wifi kena ada
9)zue dah suruh bwk bnyk cadar utk dia
10)ummi nnt dtg umah bwk makanan
11)alat senaman kena ada gak ni
12)nak keje xboleh..so buat kuih..3 pagi aku bangun buat kuih..pastu tdo balik ruz ngan kaklong hantar kuih kat kedai
13)aku xyah bayar bil air..kaklong limit 2 baldi je mandi sbb semua xnak byr bil air mahal2
14)lama sgt bersama..mesti slalu gaduh nnt..kena hati2 dan selalu sabar..

a ah kan..memang bapak aku kaya raya..tokey hup seng la katakan(note the sarcasm)
haha

lepas tu..kalau umah sewa tu murah semacam je..jangan amek..takut ada hantu..

then ckp ngan klong

F:aku ckp ngan ruz,baik bela anjing..slamat sket umah
KL:a ah kan..kita chain je anjing tu..kita bg makan..
F:pastu kalau anjing tu lepas mati aku..dia ngamuk sbb chain dia..
KL:hurm..betul gak..kena bawak dia g jalan2..

ps-note that KAKLONG imagine for a few seconds yang betul2 nak bela anjing..

memang tahap kritikal depressi hari ini

xpe kalau jatuh..bangun lah balik..terima kasih kpd kawan2 yg sentiasa hulurkan tgn utk biar aku terus bangun..

no end

2011-05-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

last-last..

takde maknanya ada ending..
semua akan together gak akhirnya..
xpayah nak serabut lagi..
xpayah nak sedih lagi..
no awkward moments lagi..

x akan ada goodbye lagi..
x akan pernah ada goodbye :)
forever and always

Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita..

ALL IZ WELL

200

2011-05-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

1-one tree hill season 7 and 8
2-juvana
3-the tudors
4-dream high
5-how i met your mother

genting genting genting genting genting genting genting genting genting

dream

2011-05-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

mimpi..

felt like the mimpi is actually a reality sometimes..
kadang2..mimpi ni bawa kita ke dunia 'what if'..

like..what if kalau hantu kejar aku??what if kalau my loved ones meninggal??what if kalau faeqah kahwin ngan awal -.-"

kadang2..yang seronok pon ada gak..

what if..kalau aku jumpa aku jumpe pelakon autumn in my heart??what if kalau...hurm..biarlah rahsia..

yang mengamukkan pon banyak gak..

kadang2..dia bagi aku perasaan yang aku pon xsedar.. yang sebenarnya aku nak..tapi deny it all along or ignore it..

sebenarnya,'i want this to happen'..
sebenarnya, 'okay..if that thing happen,thats not so bad..'

u know..feelings like that..sebab tu kalau wa bangun2 je..kalau lu dengar wa bercerita wa tengah mimpi pasal apa tadi,wa semangat gila cite penuh expressi..

and random info pasal fariza:kadang2 mimpi pasal seseorang tu sebab pikir pasal that someone..like tanpa sedar,i do think about that someone..

ye..as u all can guess..ye..saya baru bangun and baru lepas mimpi..

and deep down,yes..i wish you do fight for me..like in the dream..

tapi tu dream kan..
khayalan semata..

:)

genting :D

2011-05-30T05:45:00.001-07:00

genting genting genting genting genting

:D :D :D

sweet escapism :)

teruskan berlari

2011-05-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

almost there fariza..

:)

millimetre

2011-05-23T06:42:00.001-07:00

note:

jangan ajar aku benda yang kau nak aku jadi macam tu..tapi at the end of the day bila aku jadi macam tu..ko xleh nak handle the new me and just left me..because at the end of the day..I AM THE ONE who will collects all the bricks and build it up again..and I AM THE ONE who will collects all the little pieces that had been broken and fix it again so that i can stand and move on..so please..just let me be myself..cause sometimes i missed the old me..

ALL IZ WELL

how can i

2011-05-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

:/ :/ :/ :/

*nak cakap tapi xleh cakap..hati je bnyk bercakap*

hurm...

apa2 lah

critical week

2011-05-22T04:39:00.000-07:00

counting days..

lg 10 days..then done with A-levels..

ps-craving for starbucks..sedapnya...

unicorns i love them :D

2011-05-19T01:55:00.000-07:00

HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

COMEL GILA...

OBSESSION BARU

PS-ye..saya memang agak depressed ye sekarang ni..so..just bear with me..

unicorns i love them :*

planes

2011-05-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

mata ngantuk...

tapi..hurm..hurm..tu lah dia..

owh..ada cerita menggemparkan(nak bg gempak sket)

saya..urm..hurm..

macam mana nak cite ek??

tak pe lah..nant bila semua dah selesai..dah settle..dah dapat InsyaAllah..

nanti bagi tau k??

ps-tidak..saya xkan kahwin dalam masa yg terdekat ni..hehe

pray the best for me k??

xoxo

mummy

2011-05-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

mama..

selamat hari mama,mama :)

saya sayang mama saya sangat sangat..

love,fariza hani..

bang!

2011-05-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

ouch

bye

adorable

2011-04-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

its a girl :')

nak belikan dress macam ni boleh tak?? :)

-love-

Say you won't forget and i'll be okay

2011-04-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

seriously..i still cant imagine what happens next after KTT..

sbb its been 2 years being here..

making friends that was like a family to myself now..

i cant imagine how we'll gonna be after this..

separate ways..gonna see each other occasionally yang slama ni paling lama xjumpa pon 2 minggu je..

masa habis darjah 6..sedih..tapi the sedih fade away sbb semua masuk skolah yang sama ending nye(ye r..sigs menengah seberang jln je)..

nak masuk mrsm xsedih gak sbb tau rumah diorg dekat2 jergh..slalu je jumpa..

bila habis mrsm..sebab asyik pikir nak membesar xnak skolah lagi je..

tp ktt ni..

sbb attachment ngan kengkawan kat sini sangat rapat..

die xleh describe..its a mutual feeling..rasa baru tau..

hurm..

serious xleh imagine what happens next..

will you fight for me??

will you always be there like you are right now??
will you fight for our friendship??

InsyaAllah..

its gonna be fine..

habis KTT is not the end..

its the beginning..of everything..

so..stay with me..please..

runaway baby

2011-04-27T02:21:00.001-07:00

lari

jatuh

bangun

lari lagi

suara berkata, "dah lah tu"

terus berlari

tak pandang ke belakang lagi-not even a second

mujur ada bnyk orang yang tolong sambut everytime jatuh..terima kasih :)

buzzlight year

2011-04-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

kena gak masukkan ni dalam blog..

percubaan zuliana amirah utk buat fariza hani bercakap masa sakit tekak dah xmau bercakap ngan sesiapa

"baby,buzz lightyear nak datang malaysia"

:O -.-"

kura

2011-04-13T08:26:00.001-07:00

kura kura..cepatlah sikit jalan tu..

wanna make the world dance

2011-04-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

this song just cant get out of my head throughout the day..

:) love the lyrics :)

Seems like everybody's got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the sale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and
Smile

Why is everybody so serious
Acting so damn mysterious
Got your shades on your eyes
And your heels so high
That you can't even have a good time

Everybody look to their left (yeah)
Everybody look to their right (ha)
Can you feel that (yeah)
We're paying with love tonight
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain't about the (uh) Cha-Ching Cha-Ching.
Aint about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag.

Okay!
We need to take it back in time,
When music made us all unite
And it wasn't low blows and video hoes,
Am I the only one getting tired
Why is everybody so obsessed
Money can't buy us happiness
Can we all slow down and enjoy right now
Guarantee we'll be feeling Alright.

Everybody look to their left (yeah)
Everybody look to their right (ha)
Can you feel that (yeah)
We're paying with love tonight
It's not about the money, money, money
We don't need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain't about the (uh) Cha-Ching Cha-Ching.

Aint about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag.

[B.o.B]
Yeah yeah
Well, keep the price tag
And take the cash back
Just give me six strings and a half stACK.
And you can keep the cars
Leave me the garage
And all I..
Yes all I need are keys and guitars
And its with in 30 seconds I'm leaving to Mars
Yeah we leaping across these undefeatable odds
Its like this man, you can't put a price on the life
We do this for the love so we fight and sacrifice everynight
So we aint gon stumble and fall never
Waiting to see this in the sign of defeat uh uh
So we gon keep everyone moving their feet
So bring back the beat and then everyone sing

bittersweet

2011-04-09T00:44:00.001-07:00

perjalanan kehidupan..
takde siapa pernah kata it will go smoothly all the times..

bittersweet life..
bersyukur je lah..selagi nafas masih ada kat dunia ni..
'bitter' comes to wake you up..
to make you realise many things..
to make you go stronger..

jangan asyik maki..
tapi betulkan apa yang tak betul..
jangan asyik cari kesalahan..
mulakan penghijrahan diri..

tiktoktiktoktiktok

addict

2011-04-08T07:07:00.001-07:00

oh by the way,saya saya nak obsessed ngan maharaja lawak..
comel gile masalahnye cite tu..
dah lah ada jozan..nabil..
then AC as pengacara..
mamat khali,apek and ahmad idham jadi judges..
COMEL GILA T.T

boleh tak nak pasang astro kat rumah??

:(

la la la la la la

2011-04-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

jadi..bermulalah hujung minggu yang saya rasa macam sorang2 kat KTT ni..baru sedar,selama ni,eventhough yang lain balik,ummi and zue mesti ada..kalau x pon,zue mesti ada..tiba2 dua dua g balik kedah..tinggal ngan atok je..alar,bosan la dok ngan orang tua ni je :P hehe,gurau tok..hehe..

malam ni semua busy..bosan betul la -.- jadi,terpaksalah saya menjalani kehidupan dengan bergaya..hehe..

hurm..bosan lah..xpe lah..nak buat macam mana..

quick updates

2011-04-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

1-saya xsihat..selesema..batuk..

2-tadi saya jatuh tepi kelas..sebelah pojie kbye

adores

2011-04-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

buat keje gila...

dalam less then about 15 minutes..saya telah bertekad blk jb and saya betul2 balik jb dalam masa yg sangat singkat..

masa tu..kat putrajaya sentral..its 4.40pm..dengan atiq..masa tu tgh decide nak pegi mana..tp sbnrnye mcm dah sure nak balik ktt je..

tiba2 je..rasa sedih gile..xnak balik ktt..sbb awal lagi..dah lah jarang keluar,then weekend ni memang rasanya weekend yg terakhir betul2 nak ber-enjoy..so sedih la kalau nak end weekend ni dgn sangat cpt..so dalam hati dah pikir..xpe lah..next week blk jb la..tp..nak exam..mcm2 monolog dalaman la..tp lepas pikir blk..sekarang je lah time die nak blk jb..its now,or another 2 months..eventhough its saturday,nak gak balik jb!!!

so..terus la..ckp ngan atiq..it goes something like this

F:jom balik jb

A:jom..(dalam nada main2..like,layan je la bdk ni..)

F:betul ni..betul2 ni..jom

A:die ni biar betul..main2 la..

F:betul la..betul2 nak blk jb ni!!!jom blk jb

A:huhhh???

F:kita balik jb k??

A:huh???ok(still dlm phase budak ni biar betul)

F:ok..jap call ayah jap..

so..call ayah..ayah pon pasrah je..ckp ske ati ko la dik..

saya pon muka berseri2..pegi kat atiq(sbb masa tu die baru hbs belikan air)

F:jom balik JB!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

ps-atiq masa tu betul2 sehelai sepinggang..ada wallet and phones je..beg pon xde..hehe

mula2 pikir g seremban..tiba2 teringat yg kat bndr tasik slatan ada bus station baru yg g selatan tu..terus la naik erl g bandar tsk slatan..nasib baik atiq tau kat mana tmpt die,walaupun die pon xpnah pegi pon..pnah lalu je katanya..masa tunggu train tu,mmg berkobar2 gila r..siap buat backup plan kalau xdpt ticket bas,nak menangis 10 minit dulu,then kena gak g seremban..yg atiq still dalam phase betul ke aku nak g JB ni??dah lah atiq tu kureng sket naik baik bas kalau long distance,prefer train katanya..

sampai kat sana..dapat ticket 5.50pm :D :D :D :D :D :D

dapat je ticket..atiq terus macam,"betul2 balik jb ni"..hehehehehehehe

so..dgn berbekalkan around half an hour lagi..grab food,g toilet semua..terus tunggu and perjalanan ke JB pon bermula :D

sampai rumah around 10pm..

esoknye,which is today..balik pukul 1pm..

walaupun betul2 kejap balik..it all worth it..cuma kadang2 timbul menyesal sbb pikir kesianatiqsampaisakitbadanpenatdahlahbnykassignmentpulaktupenyakitdiasemuaterusmunculhaishhkesianlakbudakni..

but overall,

i am genuinely happy and content <3

terima kasih nur atiqah radzali sbb layan kerenah saya and temankan balik rumah ^_^

f

2011-03-31T05:28:00.001-07:00

fish..this isnt going any better..

-.-

baca lah..

2011-03-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

jumpa article ni kat fb..menarik..so..kongsi utk semua..

ps utk atok-bangga x cucu dah berubah :P

'Pernah dengar cerita Aisyah Bukhari yang murtad tak lama dulu? Suratkhabar banyak menutup kes ini kononnya untuk menjaga perkauman, tak nak terjadi kacau bilau. Kes Aisyah yang murtad dan banyak kes murtad lain ditutup sedemikian rupa atas alasan bercinta, ikutboyfriend.

Cerita yang akan saya bawa ini agak panjang tetapi sekiranya kamu seorang Islam yang peka dan sayangkan agama kita Islam, buatlah sesuatu, paling kurang fowardkan email ni kepada saudara kita yang tak tahu menahu. Ataupun selemah-lemahnya, berdoa agar kita semua serta saudara-saudara kita terselamat daripada fitnah akhir zaman yang paling besar ini.

Ini bukan cerita rekaan saya tetapi hanya petikan dari ceramah yang saya dengar dari mulut peguambela kes ini Zulkifli Nordin di Madrasah Hidayah. Murtad dikalangan orang Melayu kini sudah menjadi ancaman kepada kita. Indeks pencemaran akidah mengikut jabatan statistik dan perangkaan Tahun 1989 aje, 4776 orang Melayu mohon tukar nama dari Melayu kepada bukan Melayu atas alasan keluar dari Islam.

Tahun 1997, bila Saari Bustamah mengambil alih jawatan mufti dari Datuk Hashim Yahya, perkara pertama yang disentuh adalah murtad. Menurutnya sehingga Julai 1997, 3,000 orang murtad di KL sahaja. Tahun 1998 saja, 516 orang sudah murtad. Aisyah bukan kes pertama murtad, sebelum ini dah beratus kes timbul tetapi ditutup oleh pihak tertentu.

Setakat kes Aisyah, dah 40 fail murtad dikendalikan oleh saudara kita Zulkifli Nordin. Mengapa kes Aisyah ini kita rasa ralat sangat? Kes ini satu simbol yang tunjukkan pada kita orang Melayu. Sistem pertahanan akidah kita amat rapuh. Akidah kita diserang ditubi dari segala sudut. Yang kita tak nampak dengan menggunakan system perundangan dan kehakiman kita sendiri.

Kes ini boleh dilihat dari 2 sudut.

1.Bagaimana orang macam Aisyah boleh murtad 2. Bagaimana orang kafir laknatullah boleh menggunakan sistem hakiman kita untuk merampas anak orang Islam untuk dimurtadkan?

Apa yang berlaku kepada Haji Bukhari setelah 25 tahun didik anak dengan pengisian Islam yang hebat. Sedang dia mengimamkan sembahyang terawih di masjid tahun 1997 anak dia sedang dimurtadkan dirumah.

Aisyah adalah gadis Melayu biasa yang didedahkan dengan ilmu yang sepatutnya. Dalam keadaan macam tu, dia takkan murtad. Dihantar ke sekolah agama, dia belajar hingga tingkatan 6 atas dan boleh melayakkan diri jadi ustazah kalau dia hendak, dan layak melanjutkan ke peringkat Universiti Al Azhar kalau dia hendak . Dia dibesarkan dalam suasana yang bapanya imam. Datuknya juga imam yang dah berpuluh tahun imam Haji Tahir. Dia juga hafal surah Yasin. Dalam ertikata, tahu ayat apa, surah ke berapa yang dibacanya, ayat apa yang jadi azimat, semua dia tahu. Itu hebatnya Aisyah. Surah Sajadah pun dia hafal ... Masuk ITM dia terlibat dalam gerakan Islam. Dia didedahkan dengan gerakan Islam, dia tahu kelemahan-kelemahan Bible. Dari segi keterampilan, dia budak perempuan Melayu seperti biasa, pakai tudung dengan baju kurung bunga-bunga. Takde apa yang pelik pada dia, duduk di lembah keramat AU5C. Kakak dia pun macam itu juga keterampilannya. Tiap-tiap hari telefon bapanya lapor isu terkini. 2 tahun di KL begitu. Hari terakhir dia telefon 19 Nov 1997,

'Assalamualaikum ayah! Ni Intan (nama manja) cakap. Intan nak bagitahu, Intan dah kristian.'

Bayangkan hati seorang bapa. Kita sendiri heran macamana dia boleh murtad. Aisyah adalah simbol anak Melayu yang telah dididik dengan begitu rupa boleh murtad. Apa yang Haji Bukhari boleh buat? Airmata sahaja modal dia. Masuk TV menangis, keluar radio menangis, pergi forum menangis apa yang dia boleh buat? Semua dokumen mahkamah akan jadi bahan arkib termasuk p ermohonan kafir laknatullah itu minta Aisyah dibebaskan untuk dimurtadkan ..

Butir asal permohonan.. ....

Permohonan ini dibuat oleh Lennet Teoh Hui Leong seorang peguam Cina Kristian. (Read Herbes Corpes bawah bab 36 kanun acara jenayah). Tujuan untuk membebaskan seorang yang didakwa ditahan secara salah. Sebarang permohonan seperti ini perlu bagi sebab mengapa didakwa tahan secara salah. Permohonan dibuat bawah bab 36 atas alasan Article 11 Perlembagaan Persekutuan. Iaitu hak kebebasan beragama. Tiada langsung soal kahwin timbul. Permohonan tu menyatakan, perenggan 6, bertarikh 28 November 1997 di Makamah Tinggi Malaya Kuala Lumpur bahagian jenayah.

Sebab yang dia beri, 'Saya Lennet Teoh Hui Leong telah dilantik oleh Nur Aisyah untuk memberi nasihat kepadanya berkenaan dengan pertukaran agamanya kepada Kristian dan atas arahannya saya telah menyediakan surat sumpah untuk Nur Aisyah menolak dan meninggalkan agama Islam.'

Perenggan 23: 'Saya Lennet Teoh percaya bahawa Nur Aisyah sedang dikurung secara salah oleh keluarganya. Saya percaya tindakan ibubapa, abangnya dan bapa saudaranya telah melanggar hak kebebasan Nur Aisyah menganut agama pilihannya iaitu Kristian Khatolik'.

Kita tak boleh buat apa-apa sebab article 11 Perlembagaan Persekutuan menyatakan mana-mana warganegara Malaysia yang telah cukup umur (18tahun) berhak mutlak menukar gamanya. Itulah perlembagaan kita yang memerdekakan orang Melayu kita tahun 1957. Perlembagaan itulah juga yang menjerut kita sendiri. Adakah anak cucu kita akan selamat dengan perlembagaan itu? Bila berlaku pertembungan antara hukum syara' dengan undang-undang sivil, undang-undang syara' akan terbatal. Maksud agama rasmi kita Islam adalah acara-acara rasmi hendaklah dibuat mengikut cara Islam. Contohnya perlantikan sultan, rasmi parlimen dll. Tak lebih dari itu. Bab kehidupan, politik, ekonomi.... semua tak termasuk.

Article 4 pula menyatakan: 'Mana-mana undang-undang yang bertentangan yang bercanggah dengan perlembagaan ini adalah batal dan tidak sah. Ini termasuklah hukum syara'.

Contoh kes Hartina Haji Kamarudin.

Pada masa ceramah ini dibuat, Haji Kamarudin ada dalam lokap, didakwa mencederakan seorang Hindu kafir laknatullah kerana memurtadkan anaknya.. Anak yang dibela selama 18 tahun dengan begitu susah payah datang ke Rumah dalam keadaan Hindu.

Haji Kamarudian seorang penjual sate di Perak. Beliau lepaskan anaknya selepas 18 tahun ke KL untuk cari kerja. Tak terlintas langsung di kepalanya anaknya akan murtad. Tak sampai 9 bulan, Hartina balik ke restoran bapanya dalam keadaan Hindu dengan nandek kat dahi . Bukan itu saja. Anak yang dimanjakan begitu rupa balik mencabar bapanya, bawa boyfriend dan kawan-kawan boyfriendnya sambil berpeluk-p eluk dalam keadaan dia pun dah Hindu dengan nandek. Haji Kamarudin takek si kafir tu kat tengkuk, menggelupur dia depan kedai tu.

Haji Kamarudin juga dipelupur oleh kawan-kawan si Hindu tu sampai nak pengsan. Adik lelaki Hartina umur 16 tahun turut kena belasah kerana nak menyelamatkan akidah kakaknya depan kedai tempat bapanya meniaga.

Apa Hartina buat masa tu? Hartina papah kekasihnya dan biarkan bapanya menggelupur sendirian. Tak cukup dengan itu, dia pergi ke balai polis buat report bapak dia pukul boyfriend dia. 14 hari Haji Kamarudin dengan adik lelaki Hartina merengkok dalam lokap sebab report anak kesayangannya yang mempertahankan kekasih Hindunya. Tak cukup dengan itu disaman pula bapanya 3 juta. Remuk hati seorang bapa yang diheret ke penjara kerana anak sendiri. Tak cukup lagi, dia telah menghina bapanya dengan menukar nama Hartina Haji Kamarudin kepada Nivasni Rajeswari. Nama Hindu.

Semasa masih terlantar kat hospital (akibat dipukul binatang Hindu laknatullah ), Haji Kamarudin ditangkap polis semula sebab Hindu laknatullah ditembak oleh seorang yang tak dikenali. Jadi, Haji Kamarudin, anaknya dan anak saudaranya kena kurung masuk lokap kerana menjadi suspek utama kes tembakan tersebut. Anak yang ditatang begitu rupa akhirnya menyebabkan dia merana dalam keadaan hina di dalam negara yang negara Islam!! Haji Kamarudin juga dikenakan berbagai tuduhan. Setakat itu saja, 4 tuduhan.

Yusof Qardawi dalam kitabnya menyatakan hendaklah mempertahan akidah hatta dengan nyawa sekalipun. Itu yang Haji Kamarudin buat dalam mempertahankan hukum Allah, dilokap sedemikian rupa.

Lagi satu kes lain saudara baru kita, nama Yusof bin Abdullah , nama asal Hindunya Santana. Ada seorang isteri, namanya apa entah.Ada anak lelaki, nama Sunjay kalau tak silap. Usia 2 tahun masa tu. Ajak isterinya masuk Islam. Abangnya telah lebih 20 tahun masuk Islam. Isterinya kata ?eh!? Yusof bawa anaknya sekali masuk Islam dengan nama Mohamad Syazani bin Yusof. Dia hidup 2 beranak tu selama 2 tahun. Lepas 2 tahun si minaci datang semula dan bawak lari anak ini ke KL dengan boyfriend barunya.Yusof tak tahu apa nak buat, dia minta mahkamah syariah Alor Setar keluarkan perintah penjagaan hak ke atas anaknya.

Mahkamah pun bagi. Dia pun datang ke KL dan ambil balik budak tu. Si emak ni pergi mahkamah tinggi KL mintak hak jaga anak. Mahkamah tinggi bagi pada si minachi ni. Heran sungguh. Bila si minachi ni tak dapat nak ambil balik budak tu, dia pergi report polis. Tahu polis buat apa? Cari Yusof dan tangkap! (padahal Yusof dapat hak penjagaan daripada mahkamah syariah Alor Setar). Yusof masuk lokap 8 hari.

Lepas tu polis ambil balik budak tu kasi pada emaknya. Hari ini, budak tu kembali jadi Hindu. Tak cukup dengan itu, kurang ajarnya si minachi ni, dia minta pulak mahkamah tinggi batalkan perintah jagaan anak yang dikeluarkan oleh makamah Syariah Alor Setar yang diberi pada Yusof.

Dalam kes Suzie Teoh, seorang budak perempuan dari Kelantan umur 16 Tahun telah peluk Islam atas kerelaan sendiri. Bapa dia tak suka, lepas tu saman anak sendiri dan saman Majlis Agama Islam Negeri Kelantan, heret anak dia ke mahkamah persekutuan. Dia mohon pada makamah, agar istiharkan anak dia masuk Islam tak sah.

Masa tu, Tun Salleh Abas yang jadi hakim. Beliau seorang yang alim dan warak. Bila dihadapkan dengan kes Suzie Teoh, menangis Tun Salleh Abas. Terpaksa buat perisytiharan. 'Dibawah Perlembagaan Persekutuan, hak seorang anak tertakluk dibawah jagaan ibubapanya selagi belum cukup 18 tahun. Kalau nak tukar agama, kena minta kebenaran ibu bapanya. Semasa Suzie Teoh masuk Islam, berumur 16 tahun. dia tak sah peluk Islam.' Atas kearifan dan iman Tun Salleh Abas, dia simpan fail tu dalam lacinya selama 2 tahun. 2 tahun kemudian, lepas hari jadi Suzie Teoh yang ke 18 tahun, dia buka balik kes itu dan bagi peluang Suzie isytiharkan agamanya sendiri. Penuh mahkamah nak tahu kes tu; wartawan tempatan, wartawan asing semua nak dengar keputusan. Terketar-ketar budak tu. Baru umur 18 tahun. Sambil menangis, budak tu kata ' Saya yang arif, kekal dalam agama saya, saya masih nak nama Nur Aini.' Maka Tun Salleh Abas pun dengan bangga mengisytiharkan Islamnya sah dengan namanya Nur Aini. Selamat akidah seorang budak. Sebab itu jugalah Tun Salleh Abas kena buang atas 5 tuduhan. Tuduhan kedua atas sebab melengahkan kes seorang budak tanpa sebab selama 2 tahun. Itulah harga yang Tun Salleh Abas terpaksa bayar.

Kes terakhir sekali yang paling teruk, kes saudara Ibrahim, isterinya Siti Solehah dan anak perempuannya usia 5 bulan mati dipancung kerana tidak mahu kembali kepada agama asalnya, Hindu. Pada malam hari Valentine 14 Februari, pada waktu anak Melayu bertukar tukar bunga di Dataran Merdeka. 3 Saudara kita mati dipancung dalam sebuah kontena demi mempertahankan agama.

Peristiwa 13 Mei tercetus apabila seorang budak Melayu dibunuh kerana dia Melayu bukan kerana dia Islam. Dalam sejarah Melayu, tiada lagi orang Melayu dibunuh kerana Islam. Semuanya sebab Melayu. Inilah pertama kali.

Jika kita sorot semula sejarah Islam Yasir, bapa kepada Amar diseret di hadapan. Amar diugut supaya tukar agama. Kalau tidak, bapanya Yasir akan dibunuh. Amar kata,'Allah hu Ahad'.. Terus Yasir kena pancung di padang pasir. Kemudiannya, Sumaiyah ibunya juga disula dari bawah tembus ke jantung. Mampu berkata 'Allah hu Ahad'. Berlari Amar menemui Rasullullah SAW. Dan akhirnya, mengikut sejarah, Amar menjadi seorang mujahid berperang bersama Rasullullah SAW. Itu zaman puak Quraisy kafir laknatullah berkuasa. Rasullullah SAW tiada kuasa lagi pada masa itu.Rasullulah tak boleh buat apa.

Dalam kes kita, bukan sahaja Ibrahim dipancung kepalanya sehingga putus, tak cukup lagi, tangannya juga turut dipotong. Sehinggakan Majlis Agama Islam Selangor terpaksa minta masjid mandikan jenazah saudara-saudara kita yang mati syahid itu. Apalah dosa anak kecil yang berusia 5 bulan itu? Ibrahim dan Siti Solehah bukan calang-calang orang. Ibrahim seorang saintis Pakar Geologi manakala isterinya Siti Solehah, seorang Pakar Botani. Tanda-tanda syahid jelas pada ketiga mayat tersebut. Walaupun 5 hari dalam peti sejuk darah masih memancut keluar pada ketiga-tiga mayat. Bayi yang berusia 5 bulan masih mengalirkan darah hangat seperti baru mati. Peluhterpercik pada dahi mereka. Mereka dikebumikan di kubur Bukit Kiara. Kalau saudara semua tak mengalirkan air mata melihat kubur mereka bertiga terutama bayi yang berusia 5 bulan itu, mesti ada yang tak kena dengan hati kita Hebat mana kita sehingga tak boleh mempertahankan saudara kita sendiri Sedangkan Ibrahim telah melaporkan pada pihak polis dan Majlis agama yang dia diancam untuk dibunuh supaya kembali ke agama asalnya.

Dalam satu hadis yang berbentuk futuristik (masa depan), Rasulullah SAW berpesan 'Bersegeralah kamu melakukan amalan soleh kerana akan datang kepad a umatku di suatu masa, satu fitnah yang begitu besar yang datangnya seperti satu kepingan hitam di malam gelap gelita tak nampak'. Sahabat bertanya 'Apakah fitnah besar itu ya Rasullullah? ' 'Fitnah itu adalah kamu akan lihat umatku di hari itu, di waktu itu,pada masa itu, pagi hari Islam, petang kafir. Petang Islam, pagi kafir balik.' Sahabat bertanya lagi. 'Mengapa begitu ya Rasullullah? ' Rasullullah SAW menjawab, ?Sebab dia jual agamanya dengan nilai dunia'.

Imam Ghazali pernah berkata dalam perkara ini, 'Akan datang fitnah murtad ini dalam keadaan seperti semut hitam di atas batu hitam di malam gelap.' Mana nampak? Kecuali kalau jiwa kita tengok satu perkara dengan cahaya keimanan.

Bagaimana gerakan murtad ini berjalan di Malaysia sehingga kita tak nampak langsung. Gerakan Hindu kita tok sah sebutlah Belum habis cakap, dah ada yang tunggu dengan parang kat luar. Gerakan Yahudi lagilah teruknya. Henry Ford (orang kaya yang buat kereta Ford tu) pernah menulis berkaitan Yahudi tahun 40an atau 30an dulu dalam bukunya 'International Jew' (tak Silap saya).

Unsur Yahudi begitu tebal dalam masyarakat kita tapi kita tak nampak. Paling nyata, rokok yang orang kita hisap tu. Setiap satu batang itu ada saham kepada puak Yahudi. Tak de kilang rokok yang bukan Yahudi punya. Sapa yang hendak berenti merokok, ambil ni sebagai iktibar. Yahudi punya kerja, baru letak bola sebijik, 70 ribu Melayu tak sembahyang kat stadium Shah Alam. Belum kira yang kat rumah lagi.

Bab Kristian, lebih terancang, lebih terperinci lagi. Semenjak kalah dalam perang salib terakhir, iaitu dalam pemerintahan King entah apa nama ke 6 yang terakhir. Sebelum dia mati, dia telah berwasiat dan wasiatnya ada ditulis dengan emas di London . Dia berkata: 'Kepada semua pemimpim-pemimpin Kristian, kita hari ini telah melakukan kesilapan besar, kita berperang dengan tentera Islam dengan pedang, bukan berperang dengan akidah yang ada pada mereka. Sebab tu Islam menang walaupun 30 ribu tentera mereka dengan 300 ribu tentera kita, mereka tetap menang sebab mereka (orang Islam) berperang kerana nak mati. Kita perang untuk hidup. Oleh itu, hendaklah kita tukar strategi. Melancarkan peperangan ideologi, fahaman dan budaya keatas orang Islam.'

Wasiatnya berjaya dilaksanakan setelah King tu mati, 1492, kerajaan Islam Andalusia yang paling agung pada masa itu tumbang di tangan Kristian. 1511 kerajaan Islam Melaka tumbang, tak lama lepas tu, tumbang kerajaan Islam Pattani . Tak lama selepas tu, tumbang kerajaan Islam Kedah . Tak lama lepas tu,tumbang kerajaan Islam Mindanao ..Lepas tu kerajaan Islam Acheh ... semuanya satu demi satu..

Macamana benda ni boleh terjadi?

Sebab gerakan Kristian berdasarkan kepada 3G. GOSPEL,GOAL, GLORY . Pertama kitab dia, kedua kekayaan kita, ketiga menang terhadap Islam. Kalau kita tengok sejarah, Alfonso De Albuqueque bukan datang ke Tanah Melayu bawa tukang masak sebab nak rempah kari kita. Dia bukan makan kari, di a datang bawa mubaligh Kristian Francis Xavier (kalau saya tak silap eja), sebab nak sebarkan ajaran Kristian.

Bagaimana cara dia sebarkan Kristian nih?

Orang kita panggil, gerakan halus.Dia panggil semua mubaligh Kristian yang nak datang ke Asia ni. Dia guna kaedah 'garam dan ragi'. Garam sebagai perasa, ragi untuk penapaian. Contohnya ubi kayu. Waktu siang asalnya ubi kayu kita letak ragi, esoknya masih lagi bentuk ubi kayu tapi sebenarnya tapai. maksudnya, dia kekalkan orang Melayu dengan identiti Islam. Hakikatnya kehidupan kita bukan cara Islam lagi . Cara inilah yang Rasulullah SAW kata macam kepingan hitam di malam gelita. Inilah yang Imam Ghazali kata macam semut hitam atas batu hitam di malam gelita tu.

Pertama, melalui sistem pendidikan. Di Malaysia, macam-macam sekolah dengan nama mubaligh Kristian. Convent itu, Saint ini. Menurut satu petikan seorang mubaligh Kristian pada masa itu yang ditulis semula oleh George Peters dalam sebuah buku tahun 40an. Kepada mubaligh-mubaligh Kristian yang nak datang ke negara kita, berkaitan pendekatan garam dan ragi'. Pendekatan seperti ini tidak memerlukan seorang Muslim Melayu berkenaan meninggalkan system kemasyarakatan yang dituntut oleh agamanya. Sebaliknya orang tersebut hendaklah digalakkan terus tinggal dalam masyarakatnya. Justeru itu, ragi tetap ujud dalam keutuhannya. Dia akan menjadi bagaikan sebuah lampu (Kristian) yang diletakkan dalam gelap. Penyebaran agama Kristian nanti akan terserlah dalam sifat kerohanian, bukannya organisasi. Dirasa kesegarannya, bukan bersikap kalam. Dinamik dan etikal, bukan bersifat formalistik.

Pendekatan begini telah memperlihatkan kebaikannya. Lantaran ia tidak menganjurkan ahli Melayu tadi menjadi ahli baru Kristian yang formal, menyendiri terpisah dari masyarakatnya. Sebaliknya ia memberi laluan agar dapat dimasukkan semangat dan ajaran Jesus bagaikan sebutir ragi yang bertindak dengan proses penapaiannya ke atas seluruh masyarakat Melayu seluruhnya.

Ajaran Kristian akan bertindak melahirkan revolusi , justeru itu nanti,dapatlah dikatakan bahawa kita nanti akan memperolehi satu Kristian muslim Melayu tempatan yang mencerminkan Kristian muslim Melayu sejati.. 'Sebenarnya dia ingin. Akan datang suatu masa nanti, orang Melayu sendiri tanpa dipaksa-paksa akan buat revolusi untuk menjadi Kristian. Cara kebajikan pulak... Hari ni sapa tak kenal kelab rotary yang cuci buah pinggang,kelab lion, bulan sabit merah, Saint John's Ambulans, sapa tak kenal palang merah. Mereka masuk dengan cara menghidupkan sekularisme. Sekularisma adalah satu cara mengasingkan agama daripada kehidupan. Itulah kita hari ni mengasingkan Islam daripada kehidupan dunia. Cara lain adalah dengan menghidupkan maksiat. Kita kena ambil tindakan samada dengan tangan, dengan mulut, atau paling lemah sekali, dengan hati.

Bangun malam buat sembahyang hajat agar kita semua diselamatkan dari fitnah besar ini. Paling kurang pun, fowardkan email ni kepada saudara kita yang lain yang tak tahu menahu tu. Kita kena peka. Ini semua tanggung jawab kita semua.

Akhir sekali, email ini tiada kena mengena dengan ceramah nak berkempen politik atau apa saja. Sekadar meniupkan semangat perjuangan dalam diri kita yang mengaku Islam ini. Ni lah masanya kita bangkit pertahankan agama Islam sebelum terlambat.

#kawan-kawan yang dikasihi, tolong forwardkan email ini untuk pengetahuan dan tindakan kita semua sebagai orang Islam agar perkara ini boleh dijadikan iktibar dan benteng untuk kita mempertahankan akidah kita yang telah di Islamkan atas tiket keturunan dimana dengan sebab ini kita telahpun mendapat banyak rahmat dan belas ihsan dari Allah tanpa perlu melalui hidup Sebagai seorang yang terpesong dari ajaran-Nya dan sentiasa mencari-cari jalan yang betul.

Di harap rahmat Allah dan doa-doa para waliullah dapat melindungi kita sehingga kita kembali ke sisi-Nya. Sementara itu, berhati-hatilah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan dan sentiasa beringat kepada Allah.

ummi mumaizzah

2011-03-27T04:16:00.000-07:00

saya dah tukar layout blog.. :D terima kasih atas bantuan housematateku,ummi..hehehe..

(walaupun tibe2 pelik sbb bnyk putih..hehe..padahal aku gak yg pilih -.- )

and hari ni..die dah buat statement yang paling sweet dalam season ni sampai saya nangis(saya betul2 menangis)

it goes something like this

F:mood meroyan aku dah sampai dah..

U:owh..dah bersedia dah..

F:huh?ape maksud bersedia??

U:ye lah..everytime awak nak exam awak mesti mcm ni..kita tunggu je..kita bersedia dah awak mcm ni..

F:auwww awak sangat sweet :')

okay.kenapa bila aku taip mcm xde perasaan???tapi konklusinye rasa sgt terharu sbb first time ada org ckp yg die betul2 bersedia and menerima :')

and sebenarnye..saya ada bipolar mood kadang2..kesian gak kita tgk kawan2 saya yang kena deal ngan saya..penat sbnrnye nak jaga fariza hani ni..hehe

saya memang suka kawan kawan saya..

sbb diorg jarang puji saya..tapi nanti kadang2 kalau diorg buat statement or kadang2 in a random conversation yg diorg pon xperasan akan kepentingan ayat tu..diorg akan buat saya happy..senyum..membuat saya lebih yakin(pehal skema sgt ayat) and rasa bersyukur :) seronok lah senang cite :)

saya betul2 suka kawan saya :D

saya tak suka cite ni sbnrnye..

2011-03-20T05:12:00.000-07:00

saya adalah the type of girl bila pms je makan bnyk..

bila stress pon makan bnyk tak kira time..

then kita cite pasal stress..

bnyk lak benda yg slalu buat wa stress..

blaja satu hal(ye la..mana x nye..xpe la...malas nak elaborate)

then,pikir masa depan pon stress gak..

pastu pikir external and internal factors lagi..

orang buat aku bengang lagi..

orang buat aku sedih lagi..

surrounding yang kadang2 buat stress lagi..

pastu tiba2 moody tak tentu pasal lagi..

cucite sket mcm mana aku nak kurus..

-.-"

hurm.

go go power rangers :)

2011-03-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

bukan senang nak betul betul percaya orang..

i've been holding you too tightly..

afraid of losing you..

i really should to let you breathe..

and trust you..

kan?

ps-kepada pembaca2..ye..saya tau saya suka tulis blog yg jiwa kacau..nak buat mcm mana..dah memang kalau jiwa kacau je..medium yang sesuai utk mencurahkan kekacauan kat blog..hehe..

to my constants

2011-03-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

this is the phase..

when u think u had done the right thing..

and when u succeed on doing whatever you think is right..

u started having second thoughts..

its a point of no return..

u must choose to go on..

its not too late..for now..

but the options are tough..

kadang2..benda2 kecik la yang menyebabkan kita tersedar..mempersoalkan semua benda..buat kita pandang ke belakang balik..pikir what if...picture myself in the future and mostly nothing makes sense..

and the funny thing is..all things happen at the same time..

susah nak jaga hati semua orang..

i know sometimes i act like (suka hati korang la nak mencarut ape) sometimes..

and i know u're still with me despite all these..

and for that..

thank you very much from the bottom of my heart..

and i am very sorry for everything..

ps-sbnrnye entry dah bercampur2 utk macam2 orang..xpe lah..nak buat mcm mana..ni lah jadinya bila gadis jiwa kacau tulis blog at 2.16am..

the memories remain

2011-03-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

exams..mcm biasa..xready..mati lah aku..dah la dah ckp ngan ayah nak buat betul2 exam kali ni T_T mati mati mati

xpe la..mati mati dulu..berenjoy2 kemudian hihi..

random facts about me :

kalau saya buat grocery shopping,saya betul2 shopping macam mak orang -.-

and i've got myself a airoplane model kat tesco.. :D (sbnrnye nak yg plane model yg betul2 tapi xde duit :(

bangun..bangun..

2011-03-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

birthday miss suriany and hafiz..

so..main cerita is..saya ngan ruz telah ditugaskan utk bwk miss sue turun(saya mmg slalu ditugaskan utk bwk lecturer ke tmpt celebration)

so..its around 11pm..miss sue kebetulan tidur kat umah warden kitaorg,which only one floor above my house..dah pakat ngan warden ckp jgn kunci pintu,nnt kitaorg masuk panggil miss sue..

so,kitaorg pon buka pintu..and miss sue dah tido kat hall umah..kitaorg masa tu dah gelabah..ruz tolak aku..aku tolak ruz..sama2 suruh masuk umah..ye la,cuba bygkan..xkan la tibe2 datang kat miss yg tgh tido kejut tepuk2 bahu die mcm kejut kawan..x terkejut plak nnt miss tu -.-

so..suruh ruz call miss sue in hope that miss akan bangun..baru lah kitaorg datang..turns out that phone die xberbunyi la pulak -.-"

lepas tu mmg dah xde jalan lain..kena kejut gak..dah tolak ruz masuk umah(saya betul2 menolak ruz drp blakang sbnrnye)..dah half way masuk..kitaorg kalut gelabah semua xboleh xboleh lari keluar rumah tu balik..call miss syikin(warden yang dok umah tu) mintak tolong kejutkan..

bile miss syikin kejut kitaorg tlah menyorok kat kitchen ngan position merangkak..tapi kitaorg berjaya gak la ending nye :D :D :D

konklusi:pengalaman ni sangat pelik dan memang xdpt dilupakan -.-

p/s-meet jijan hari ni :) dah nak dkt 3 tahun dah tinggalkan mrsm rupanye :)

enjit enjit semut

2011-03-01T21:12:00.000-08:00

PMS

hamek ko

:O

2011-02-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

HOMAIGOD MISS SUE,LECTURER PHYSICS WA,DULU SEKOLAH SIGS..HOMAIGOD HOMAIGOD (tiba2 muncul smgt jb n sigs hehe)

btw..saya dapat kad kahwin drp miss syira..saya rasa ni first time dapat kad kahwin ditujukan kepada saya..seronok :D dah besar rupanye saya ni..hehe

get well soon sayangku atiqah radzali ^_^ (ps-tu lah..kalau xreti main bola,jangan main bola :P *lari* :D :* )

hope the sun shines

2011-02-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break

It's getting dark, and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
Something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But I still mean every word I said to you

next song:

I still remember the look on your face
Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind

-taylor swift-

:(

2011-02-22T01:40:00.000-08:00

muka tiba tiba rasa bahang..

bengang..

bila lah nak get over ngan feeling mcm ni..

diri sendiri kena ubah eh??

kalau benda tu natural xleh dibuat2 mcm mana ek??

mcm bahang tu..bukan aku pegi dekat oven bahangkan muka..

memang bahang..adrenalin kot(memandai je)

habis tu mcm mana?? :(

if only..

sigh~

thats just me fullstop

2011-02-21T07:04:00.000-08:00

i am the girl who grown up in a family,that

does not trust people easily,

never fall into words easily,

and ACTIONS always speaks louder than words..

kbye

beautiful

2011-02-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

meh aku cite satu rahsia pasal aku

sometimes..
all i want is..
to find someone that tells me that i am,
beautiful as the way i am..
all the pelik things or whatever i do,
is just beautiful the way it is..
and muka i paling buruk pon,
is still cute the way it is..
and that someone that will tell me,
that i am the most beautiful girl in that someone's eyes..
and that someone really knows and meant every single word..

and fish it..coz that will never ever going to happen.. -.-

another tale of pathetic me..

ps-Alhamdulilah,Allah gives me sifat yg sempurna.. :) its not that im not grateful for that,its just..sometimes u wanna feel being appreciated and be just the way you are..

white

2011-02-11T01:19:00.000-08:00

saya tak suka diberi harapan..

coz walaupun i've tried to tell myself not to get my hopes high..

but still..

deep down..i am still waiting..

and during that moment..

mcm2 perasaan timbul..

like "fariza,dont let ur hopes get high..coz memang xkan punye jd"(err..better expect for the worst to happen)..

tapi i cant lie to myself..

pathetic me -.-

so..kalau nak sedapkan hati saya pon..tolong jangan bagi harapan..sebab that will bring more damages to me..

masa kecik2 dulu..sekolah rendah kot..this good friend of mine ckp die akan dtg umah i kot..so,masa tu ayah ajak naik kapal terbang ke helicopter ride free,im not very sure which one..masa tu ada pertunjukan mcm tu la xigt..so plans cancelled sbb i ckp dgn ayah kwn nak datang..and that kwn tak datang pon..so kitaorg pergi naik kapal terbang or helicopter tu the next day xsilap..tapi mase tu byk org,so ride tu kejap je..and i was kinda guilty and marah pon ada masa tu..owh..that friend of mine buat mcm tu bnyk kali lg lepas tu..and i kept telling myself jangan tertipu..so,bila xjadi..i kept telling myself its okay and i am not affected at all..and that was,a pure lie..thats why i hate harapan sometimes..

beautiful disaster

2011-02-09T02:52:00.000-08:00

beautiful disaster

She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.

She swears that there's no difference,
Between the lies and compliments.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough,
The pictures that she's seen make her cry.

snow white queen

Stoplight lock the door
Don't look back
Undress in the dark
And hide from you
All of you

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me
You don't know me
Now or ever

You belong to me, my snow white queen
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you

Wake up in a dream
Frozen fear
All your hands on me
I can't scream
I can't scream

I can't escape the twisted way you think of me
I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep
I don't sleep

So you belong to me, my snow white queen
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you

I can't save your life
Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting
I'm losing my mind
And you just stand there and stare as my world divides

You belong to me, my snow white queen
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over
Soon I know you'll see, you're just like me
Don't scream anymore my love, cause all I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

p/s:

beautiful disaster-well,thats the ugly truth :(

snow white queen-lets just say..i love it.. :)

malam :)

2011-02-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

saya ngantuk gila..tapi nak gak tulis..so,i was thinking..

maybe i really should stop writing my entry in jiwang way or should just make it private..hurm..to avoid any misunderstanding or wrong impressions towards me..

sometimes,things that u think it is happening may may not be the one u think u know?

but on second thought,who cares??its my blog btw..

cerita kedua

the best part having a lot of social sites is that u can always throw ur anger or unspoken opinion or ckp something yg xtercakap kat orang yg sepatutnye kat different sites yg org tu xboleh reach kita..hurm..paham tak??

so..i have no problems with everyone else except for FARA IYLIA ZAIDI

ye la..dah la selalu ngan die kat mana2..n then semua my social sites die ada n dia active..except for blog ni la..xtau la die baca lagi ke tak..kalau nak kutuk dia lagi la susah..mmg xleh kutuk kat mana2 sbb confirm nnt die tau tu die la(tu lah masalahnye sbnrnye :P)..haha tak tak,i dont mean to kutuk u pon hehehehehe..i love you..(dah takut sbnrnye)

selamat malam semua :)

pieces :D

2011-02-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

baju pink-hari nikah..

baju purple-sanding..

LOVE :D

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala~

2011-01-31T11:55:00.000-08:00

owh..saya nak berfalsampah the beauty of studies and staying up..tapi ilham utk ayat bermadah2 xde nnt2 la k??

hoy where are you when i need you?

mcm nak tulis something..lupa lak..hurm..

2011-01-31T09:55:00.000-08:00

next step????

WUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*LARI MACAM ORANG GILE TAKDE TUJUAN SAMBIL MENJERIT TAPI STILL BERLARI SAMPAI LANGGAR PINTU*

mati T_T

plan

2011-01-30T01:07:00.000-08:00

dear bloggy..so..this cuti..im gonna

1-add pictures from kakak's wedding..sbb cd gambar baru dpt..

2-nak tukar layout blog(ko sepatutnye menang blog terburuk fariza)

3-ntahlah..tu je kot..

maybe :/

parut.30.

2011-01-29T12:09:00.000-08:00

pada hari ni..mari kita nyanyi lagu...jeng jeng jeng (skrg kol 4.12am mengikut phone saya btw)

i tear my heart open..i sew myself shut..

my weakness is that i care too much..

and my scars remind me that the past is real..

tu je..

fariza..fariza..

walls being ripped

barriers had been crossed

maybe your exception shouldnt be the exception

FML

memori daun pisang

2011-01-21T03:08:00.000-08:00

kadang2..i wonder..kenapa aku selalu igt certain2 benda,yang sebenarnye xpenting mana pon..and kadang2 i wonder,kenapa aku igt benda tu..

dengan kata scientific nye..knape aku susah sgt nak hafal bio chem physic math???!!!!!!!
aku ada photographic memory maybe???

apa rasionalnye aku igt benda2 tu??lagi2 kalau benda2 yg waktu kecik..have u ever wonder how certain event was clearly in ur mind and some events u have no memory at all??

example:

it goes something like this..i cant remember much..maybe bnyk dah ditokok tambah..but bear with me k??

-kakak n me beli baju or panties im not sure..so kakak tanya ayah,"kena basuh ke??"..ayah mcm,"xpayah lah..pakai je la"..then for mine pulak..saya letak baju saya sepah2 so ayah terus lah letak kat tempat bj kotor..so kakak mcm,"kenapa hani punye basuh??kata terus tmpt baju pakai??"ayah macam..okay i xigt..ye lah..kakak punye mmg harmless pon kalau pakai terus..mine lak dah sepah2 kan..menyemak je..campak je r kat tmpt baju kotor..

so knape aku igt??sbb aku rasa disayangi ke??

-there is this one person..dia hantar kawan dia g airport..katanye parents ke ape ntah kawan die nak g somewhere..

knape aku kena igT?????????padahal dah lama dah kot..

-n mcm2 lg..mostly x makes sense pon..tp..aku igt..sbb kadang2 aku igt,org lain xigt..tu yg rasa hurmm..and i really love when someone told me certain events that i cant remember..coz i will like.."ye ke??" and my brain mcm butang search n scan semua memory yang ada..

haishh..ntahlah fariza..dah ko igt..ko terima je lah..seronok ape ada bnyk memori..drp xde..lg sedih..so,ive come to a conclusion..with a brand new spirit..

TREASURE EVERY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE

-hidup ni tak lama

-kita xtau bila ajal kita

-jangan sampai kita dah xde masa baru nak menyesal

-xpayah nak bnyk gaduh2.

-xpayah nak tambah musuh(mr S is an exception)

-jangan asyik persoalkan..terima je la..

ape sbnrnye ko cuba sampaikan??ntahlah...kalau korg paham...korg mmg memahami aku :D kalau xpaham..abaikan je la k???

ps-kenapa perut aku asyik sakit je lately ni??? :(

yes..i mean them..

2011-01-20T20:40:00.000-08:00

Don’t promise me forever, don’t pretend to know you’ll never make me cry. Just hold me now, and promise me you’ll try.

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.

Jealous, doesn't mean that I do not trust you. It means I'm only afraid of losing you.

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

if i call you for nothing, it means i need you to understand that i miss you and your voice.

We don't remember days, we remember moments.

When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is so far, no time is so long, and no other love can tear them apart.

Just because people change and move on with life, doesn't mean that they love you any less.

teeeheee..love :)

silent

2011-01-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

:'(

kbye

time

2011-01-19T23:33:00.000-08:00

time will heal

how far this quote is true?
sometimes,no matter how long it is..
u just dont forget..
maybe the scar is less painful then before..
but the memories..the pain..
are still there..
sometimes time just dont heal(or maybe u should wait longer?)

and sometimes..all u have to do is just to let it go..

love

2011-01-19T04:43:00.000-08:00

You can say, "I love you" without meaning it,

and you can mean "I love you" without saying it.

saya fariza

2011-01-16T04:22:00.000-08:00

okay..entry kali ni sgt tiba2..lately ni mmg unexpected entry semua nye ye..(fariza kan??biasa la :P)

okay..mari kita cite pasal....

JENG JENG JENG(xde sound effects lain ea fariza?)

tolong ingatkan aku :D :D :D

okay..saya xbrape gemar lagu ni..sbb dah bnyk kali cuba pahamkan lagu ni pon..yg aku boleh paham part 'tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita'..die menang juara lagu..okay fine(padahal dlm hati mencarut2 kenapa faizal tahir xmenang)..tapi..lantak die lah..bukan itu yg cuba diceritakan..hanya beberapa benda pasal lagu ni menarik perhatian saya..hehe

point 1.. FESNI

masa juara lagu..ada zahiril adzim..TEEEHEEEE suka!! :D :D :D dan tiba2 sbenarnye,persembahan diorg adalah idea yang bernas utk persembahan PIAN DAN HARISAH kat FESNI tahun ni..kan kan kan???siapa sokong????PIAN G CARI CAGE CEPAT SURUH ATOK MENYANYI2 DALAM TU!!! :D :D :D

point 2.. KENAPA ADA ORANG SUKA DAN ADA ORANG TAK SUKA LAGU NI..

saya rasa..orang yang xsuka lagu ni..sbb diorg adalah spesis pengingat..macam saya(walaupon saya sangat pelupa kalau belajar bio,phy,chem n math...tapi kalau insiden2 yang penting dan kdg2 xpenting saya ingat lak)..its like.."ko xpayah nak igtkan la..aku mmg igt la!!sibuk je.." hehe..

orang yang suka lagu ni lak..suka melupakan insiden2 dalam hidup dia..jadi..bila si gadis berbaju kurung menyanyikan "tolong ingatkan aku...lalala~"..orang2 yg suka lagu ni pon mcm "betul2..tolong ingatkan please...saya xnak lupa.."

jadi..sampai di sinilah coretan saya..no hard feelings..no offence to all :D saya hanya mencoretkan logik akal saya sahaja..

selamat malam semua :)

butterfly

2011-01-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

dear fariza..

please dont be so selfish..

think of others..

remember..

ur selfishness can make u having no heart to others..

FML

saya

2011-01-15T03:50:00.001-08:00

saya pening

saya sakit kepala

saya lapar

saya bosan

saya sorang2 kat umah

saya xtau nak buat ape

saya tgh menunggu orang reply text saya

mungkinkah saya patut mandi??

okay zue dah balik bawak makanan k bye i love you

rasa

2011-01-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

maybe i also feel the same feeling..feeling of belonging ..

adorable :P

2011-01-14T01:01:00.000-08:00

mari kita menulis belog..
yes..belog..

im bored :/
kalau ada yang terpikir..knape kebnyakan entry kat belog ni emo mcm aku ni asyik down je..ini jawapan saya..

ye lah..dah tentu kalau emo sket je wa update blog ni..sbb tu lah jadi mcm ni..hehehehe

so..mari kita membuangkan masa anda untuk baca belog saya..
jap..ada ke orang yang baca belog saya??
kalau ada..cpt angkat kaki!!whoaaaaa!!ramainye!!! suka lah saya begini (muka kemerahan2)

apa kata..hari ni..kita belajar cara nak menghayati lagu :D

lagu nye ialah..jeng jeng jeng..SECRETS :D (knape tiba2 ek???bkn lagu tu dah lama ke??knape skrg baru nk femeskan ek??ape masalah ko sbnrnye ea fariza??) (fariza-suka hati aku lah yg ko sibuk pehal. baca je sampai habis)

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that delight those ears
Sick of all the insincere
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'm 'a tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that delight those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

so..kalau lah i really mean every word of this..hurm..seronok gak..tapi..nay..have no courage tu do that lagi..cuba lah tanye aku "are you willing to give all ur secrets to me?" then i'll give it a thought..hehe..but if u really want to know my secrets,answer me this, "do u really want to hear it??will u take me to ur heart and love me as before??"

ps-ko mmg drama queen kan fariza??saje je nak buat ayat gempak2..ko ada secrets yg seronok ke??
fariza: -.-" baiklah

ielts

2011-01-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

dear ielts,

so..can i freak out now??

:/

more gula..

2011-01-07T04:18:00.000-08:00

‎2209 : cucu pertama ak! Rindu ko budak kecik! Asal kuar je msti jdual ko pack.ko sgt cute sbb prangai ko yg mcm budak2 kot.pandai n ske buat bsing.rindu 510. Ko ske mmkak ngan jemi! Tu yg wt kelas kte ceria!!

-afiqah zainurin :)

‎2209..laporn melaporkn..anda swg yg gilez dn sewel..
tp gilo2 anda, anda sngt memahami diri ku ini dn aku amt mnyukai ape yg anda tlh lkukn trhadap dri ku..terima ksih sahabat...
hahahaha...ayat bodoh glez kn..
aku doa kn anda mndpt anak kemba sperti dri ku ini kelak...
:)

-dinie fikri

bite me

2011-01-06T23:50:00.001-08:00

saya rasa tekanan daripada exam telah makan diri saya..

saya tak suka begini..

out of no where,id let almost all of my guard down..

i let the pressure comes and controlled me..

tendang aku..tampar aku..tumbuk aku..tikam aku..

aku jatuh..aku bangun..

maki aku..hina aku..keji aku..herdik aku..

aku jatuh..aku bangun..

buatlah ape ko nak!!aku terima..

sebab walau macam mana celakanya sesebuah kehidupan itu..ia masih kehidupan..

(mungkin agak berhiperbola..tapi peduli hape..blog aku..suka hati la..)

-new sem..final sem..not doing very well huh fariza?

brightside

2011-01-05T03:54:00.000-08:00

crap day today..im not going to let my current mood to ruin my blog..lets just think about the sweetest thing that come to your life okay?? :)

miss 2209

tak boleh buat status sebab panjang sngt :p

mula2 kenal dh nampak awk ni hyper yg teramat sangat. serious you're irreplaceable :) caring gila. kalau tau org sakit cepat2 bagi ubat baringkan kat katil terus selimutkan. sweettttt lah awak. rambut kerinting macam anak buah tersayang kta atul. thats why awak panggil kta cilis kn. walaupun sebenarnya its ciklis -.- haha. kta sama2 tau reasons kenapa smpai sekarang kta single, ahaha kelakar okay. suka peluk org. sikit2 'cilis,nak huggg'. kta pun suka awak hug kta :D n kta suka hug awak jugak hehe. paling kelakar bila kta nyanyi lagu negaraku besar2 suruh awak bgn. haa tau terkejut kan tulaa susah sgt nak bangun siapa suruh :P eek! paling kta ingat jugak awak tba2 dtg bagi choc ice cream kat kta. hehe dhla kta memang craving gila nak choc icecream time tu :* thanks for that! n gmba yg awak suruh org lain guna wallpaper tu yg paling kta tak lupa tau. ok kta stop kat sini mcm dh pjg sgt dh ni. next episode la pulak eh :P i love youuuu damn damn much! :)

-nurlailis osman

2209- hahaha.the one and only.dy ckp nnt kat india dy nk kawen dgn mayang? haish, grrrrr..mmg nk kena nih.. reasons i like 2209 r almost the same as anyone else's. cheerful, caring, lively, sometimes cute :P but this person somehow has something to do with me.in various ways this person always shows me tht i am not alone,always be there to support and share love.the one we can get free hugs♥♥♥ thank you :)

-nadhirah ismail

ps-sweet kannnn????i love you cilis: :D u too nad :D

urm

2011-01-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

it starts to take its toll on me

damn

2011

2011-01-01T04:37:00.000-08:00

hey..happy new year

:/

S.A.K.I.T

2010-12-29T18:25:00.000-08:00

orang tua2 ckp..jangan suka2 sangat..nanti menangis..hamek ko..

It's October again
Leaves are comin' down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn't I supposed to be someone
Who can face the things that I've been runnin' from

Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived
Just a little

I become much too good
At being invincible
I'm an expert
At play at safe and keep it cool
But I swear
This isn't who I meant to be
I refuse to let my life
Roll all over me

Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived
Just a little

I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody
I, I wanna be Somebody
Who can face the things that I've been Runnin' from

Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived...

It's October again
Leaves are comin' down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all

ps-sometimes,all you need is just to break down and let it all go..
pps-and it struck me,all you have is yourself and it will get worst when u fly,because maybe,u are actually really alone there..

bola

2010-12-29T08:23:00.000-08:00

okay..mari kita cite pasal..fahmi..haha..no no..bola.. :D
honestly,im not a huge fan of football..layan je la(peer pressure katanye..hehehe)

selama ni,tgk mcm2 tu je..tapi sampai ktt je..mmg semua kawan2 rapat saya semua fanatik bola,n yes,semua mereka gadis..n tgk bukan hnye pemain bola..kadang2 kalah lelaki bile diorg tgk bola...so ada la beberapa kali on certain occasions saya mengikut mereka tgk bola..masa world cup,epl n mcm2 lagi..tapi xde feeling sangat...sbb never fanatic on satu2 team tu..kalau kalah pon,mcm..lantak ko la..aku kisah ape..

so then,there goes suzuki cup..

malaysia vs indonesia..malaysia kalah 5-1

-tgk first half je sbb farid suruh teman..xde perasaan

malaysia vs indonesia..malaysia leading 3-0

-tgk ngan fara,haziq,nayli,papa fara..

-masa tu dah timbul semangat seronok sbb malaysia dah kalahkan indonesia..masa tu dah berkobar2 bangga gila igt dah menang..rupanya ada lagi satu game daaaaa...

malam ni..malaysia menang suzuki cup :D :D :D

-tgk kat mamak ngan fara,klong,ruz,ain

-memang drp awal mmg niat berkobar determined gila sumpah nak menang tak kira nak menang..

-masa penalty nak nangis..

-mcm2 emotion

-bila gol or fahmi dapat tangkap bola jerit gila babeng

-saya skrg paham mcm mana org fanatik bola rasa

-saya bahagia

the best thing about the last game is the feeling of unity..everyone is cheering for malaysian team to win..malam tu tak kisah la ko negeri ape,bangsa ape..i heart u as long as u're malaysian..patriotik gila n sangat proud okay to be a malaysian..

i know..i mcm yg lain gak..dulu tak pernah nak sokong team malaysia..xpernah tau match malaysia bila..kalah ke,menang ke,lantak la..sbb selalu kalah..tp bila malaysia masuk suzuki cup,semua org excited gile lg2 bila dah leading..we really need this kind of kick to actually open our eyes yg malaysian team is not that bad..deep in our heart,we really need to win this game..we're hoping that zaman2 mokhtar dahari will come back to us and all our cheerings n prayers are worth it..the winning is just the best way for malaysians to celebrate the new year in hopes that our football team will rise n shines..n tonight,i really do proud of our team tonight..they've proven that they are physically n mentally(wooo..dgn majority supporter semua indonesian boleh dapat 2-1 that was quite an achievement)..

hehe

3 weeks??

2010-12-27T03:35:00.000-08:00

dah lama saya tak update blog ni kan??hati ni mmg nak update..tapi kemalasan nak berpuitis menyebabkan niat tergendala(bahasa kejadah ko guna ni fariza??)

so..quick recap(pray so) on what i've been through since the last post..

1)pegi MAHA

-first time actually do an acitivity satu family+suzai(along aka abg ipar)..its great actually..pegi sbb mama nak tgk binatang..hampeh kuda je wa nampak..keluarga kitaorg juara bertahan dapat seat dalam tram..there's this cute guy..saya usha dgn xbrape terang tapi thanks to fadzilah n suzai yg telah mengobviouskan saya tgh mengusha dpn that guy(ada ke diorg panggil nama i kuat2 dgn alasan biar lekat kat kepala mamat tu -.-" owh,n actually that guy do remember me)..n tujuan kami selepas xnampak2 binatang adalah tgk mkck goreng pisang..makcik tu epic wooo..die dapat bisikan,die boleh pegang minyak panas mcm tu je woooo..makcik tu hebat..n bila dah sampai situ je..trust me..my family yg plg kecoh(xsusah nak buat keluarga pakcik buni ni terpukau ye..hehe)..mmg la penat,blk pening gle..but the time we spend together was REALLY worth it n i loved every second of it

2)BTN

-belajar perlembagaan bnyk gile sampai rasa mcm kena bnyk tampar bnyk kali sbb the information yg diterima sgt padat dan bnyk dan concentrated -.-"

I SURVIVED LIVING WITHOUT MY PHONE FOR 5 DAYS

(isnin malam sampai jumaat pagi)..u have no idea how mati kutu am i bila xde phone..makinlah rasa BTN tu lama nak mati bile xde phone..xtau langsung ape berlaku kat dunia luar(aceyh..poyo je)..but seriously,tolong jangan pisahkan saya dengan phone saya..its traumatic(okay agak dramatic)..

saya hebat mandi kolah..okay lets not elaborate on that..hehe..

kolahmate - nadhirah ismail n ciya..(ruz lambat sket)

tidomate(org yg menyebabkan aku boleh tido mlm)-nadhirah ismail n miza adnan..thank you sbb bg aku tido tgh2.. :D

owh saya jumpe atiqah zainal aka ayam..wuaaa rinduuu!! :')

3)2 minggu bersama atiqah

“Are we going to be friends forever?” Asked Piglet.
“Even longer,” Pooh answered.

- A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)

4)sleep over kat rumah fara

seronok!!!nervous wa tau nak dapat approval *wink* hahahaha..but it turned out great..been to a lot of places that i had never been..seronok lah senang cite :D :D :D n thanks to nayli,who reminds me that i still being loved by a kid :')

5)g wedding kakak aryl

rasa sangat dewasa ye..pergi wedding sendiri kat negeri org(poyo skali lagi) dengan didrive oleh fara iylia zaidi..memang rasa dewasa di situ ye..vending machine tmpt tu seronok..n yes,saya rindu saat aryl kat miat.. :'(

oh tidak

2010-12-01T10:37:00.000-08:00

wa sangat sedih bro n bra..wa sangat sedih wa cakap sama lu..lu bayangkan ek..cuti wa seminggu je je wei!!!dah lah minus ngan beli barang2 n tdo sebab kpala pening gle n everything makin pendek cuti wa..wa sedih betul wa tak tipu..

pastu wa seram nak g BTN ni..wa dah lama x g camp..wa seram..dah lah xsemua kawan2 wa pegi wa sedih ni..knape fara,cilis ngan ain xpegi wa xpuas hati btol la..haishhh..wa xsuka la terpisah2 ni..ishhh..lepas tu tadi wa g beli baju kurung putih..org lain back to school wa pon back to school gak r..dah r wa beli ngan mak bpk wa sama2..wa btol2 rasa mcm dak kecik kembali ke sekolah..wa segan betul la masa beli..hati meronta2 ckp "wa budak kolej la!!pehal lak kena beli baju skola??!!" siap fitting lagi tuhhh..aishhh..bila la wa betul2 nk meninggalkan alam persekolahan ni???isk3..

pastu sekarang..technically dah khamis..jumaat wa dah gerak g umah akak..ahad dah balik kolej..isnin g btn..jumaat balik btn..isnin pastu naik sem..

WOI MASA JANGANLAH LAJU SANGAT GERAK..LEK2 SUDAAAAAA..NAK KEJAR APE CEPAT2 SANGAT NI??

ps-date has no power..if the date has no power,means that the memories will come anytime they want.. :)

sweet dreams hani

2010-11-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn off the light

hoping it will get better

skeleton

2010-11-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

semua orang ade jerangkung dalam almari..

just because they dont show it..doesnt mean they dont have it..

so..knape nak judge org lain??

kita semua xtau ape yg ade dlm almari masing2 kan??

impossible

2010-11-26T02:38:00.000-08:00

tiba2 saya rasa sedih..

:'(